Haiz, u think i feel very well ha?

ok, at 1st, i was happy enuf tis morning, o things go smoothly.. I hav my chance 2 kno n understand more bout bsmm, bout my job... I found tat i sure will facing te more kik de stress in future.. Quatermaster de job stil new 2 me.. bt i lik it.. today i gt kno more about 1st aid box le..Today de kawad training, duno y i can shout wif nice voice le..happy.. After teach by Henry, i can realize my kekurangan le.. haha..So funny..Sylvester oso help me alot..

Henry, te most close te senior wif me when i was peralihan, cz he is Gary's fren.. Duno y i will b wif they actually tat time, i am nt active tat time.. mayb is Henry them too gud owes bring me wif them 2geter.. We go parkson 2 play 2geter when concert.. so nice .. Bt after tat, we less talk le.. HE oso gt te "wei yan" 4 me ... Nt dare n no things 2 chat.. BT today, he treat me very well, i get bak te feeling 2 b fren wif him.. Go eat 2geter then go his house n he bolo me his Bsmm uniform, o badge there lol..

Slyvester, i F2 cai join Bsmm, o ajks nice, bt i hard 2 communicate wif them, my problem.. Slyvester, when te scu sport day. he same grup wif me..He start 2 talk wif me.. Teach me alot of things n exp.. Respect him from tat day..When te lion dance camp, he gt chat wif me again, very take care of our muda tat gt stay overnight de... He, reli nice..

BT, my mood spoiled at te night time.. te orientation stuff.. te opening whic i shud responsible..
haven gt any idea yet..So i try 2 get 07's mudas n designers' help..I ask them 2 come on 26th..
Wat i get bak is alot of ple cant come, brassband de mudas gt practise oso, some no transportation, some scold by family... ok i understand it...Bt, i reli no idea le..mayb u think i am useles..mayb 4 now..BT, u o r ajks oso, some even r mudas!! Y u jz cant understand how important it is ler if opening din do well.. Mayb cant come, bt u can tell me some usefull advise.. i appreciate it... BT, wat i reli mad r, some ajks, i nt blaming u, bt i wan 2 express my feeling.. Even there is nt much pple will come tml for meeting, bt does it mean u oso no nid come? Mz u folo others n b so lazy since u can do smth 4 us.. Te other thing is, if president din come, does it mean u o no nid come oso? O can do in nt serous de way? Orietation ajks!! If lik tat how can we lead new students? Wanna Chung Hua scu 2 fall tis year? Then others will say tis year de ple o useless? wan? Ok, mayb te tone i use when writing tis post was too negative n mayb let u angry n hate me, i'm sry.. Bt, when i gt comment, shud u listen 2 it oso?
Does o my comment useless? Shud u think carefully? I duno.. If me, i will...
DO wrong nvm, we r stil learning... So, ajks, plz think carefully, how u shud b in ur future, how u shud do 2 improve urself..We can do it 2geter

I mayb too shao le, cz gt lion dance n BSMM de stuff 2 fan oso.. I kno i am nt te most bz 1 de person..Bt my job at some segi, mayb u duno how hard it is..

Lol today..

Early morning, i was fan nao bout how 2 go scu after hq cz gt stuff 2 do.. bt i dun hav transport.. T-T.. who kno today de BSMM election will till 4.30pm... Gt a period of time i nid 2 planning 4 my program today... scu nid go c muda, print out important stuff, take lion dance door de key oso...lol
After tat, i was ask 2 temu duga by seniors.. although is a temu duga, i feel abit lik councilling...i think it is very gud 4 me.. They gav comment toward me, ask me alot of important things tat make me more concern bout my future n let me wake up abit.. lol.. A few nice question ya... So nice till make me very respect them.. After training n chating te whole day, te comittee board put oso finally by undian... At 1st, i was fooled by seniors!!! reli kik.. I b te secretaries!!!! lol i wonder how i can do it in my best tat time.. seriously.. then, i was oso told again tat my pose is quatermaster actually..
ZZZzz, make me nervous, i do secretaries job? lol.. bt et quatemaster job i lik it.. EXcite.. i dun hav any exp now, will try it n try 2 put my o heart here.. since te top 10 r my frenz oso..hehe.. so reli hope tat i can hav my chance 2 get my anwser here as soon as possible.. i wan 2 b more matang.. i was jz a small kid now.. wif lazyness n low eq

The other 4 days 4 lion dance camp..

Te 2nd day, stil feel stress, especially when i play drum o chia, stil will get wrong... Stil hide o my fan nao inside my heart.. Bt te bahasa kasar will flow out la cz te space of my heart is nt enuf 4 such things le... After i bak, i hav receive a msg 2 ask me go bak 2 scu.. cz senior gt things 2 discuss wif mudas... My dad dun let me go actually, using te very fierce de tone.. My mun help me de... After packing, i go 2 scu 2 stay overnight le until te camp finish.. Mudas r told 2 watch senior performance n how their practise, so tat we gt exp on how we do it in future... BT, when i saw them practise, owes gt bahasa kasar oso de, geo lai geo qu oso... I gt a bit nt shuang.. Wat i shocked is they spirit of practise, even me jz watching them oso very tire le, bt they stil continue... Even terluka le... After tat, mudas brought by seniors 2 hav a talk, heart 2 heart de... Teach us many things, mudas r require 2 say out opinion oso.. I told o my opinion, serius de...After council, i stil blur, bt i gt a feeling, mayb te problem is reli on me...

3rd day, trying 2 change myself, trying 2 due on evrything wif different attitude.. Hav a chance 2 talk wif Slyvester again... He teach me alot of things... I think i haven hav a matlamat 4 myself now.. My future jz a game 4 me now.. I haven plan well.... today de station game, i din involve too much, since i gt wounds... bt i think o ple enjoy te game, especially in te pond...so high ya..boys n girls... tis night, mudas r JZ told tat we nid 2 hav a performance tml, o very nervous, train till midnight...

4th day, b4 te mudas performance begin, o of us very very nervous.. many da ren wu come... I made many mistake in te performance... I din do well... Onli hope tat i can master it as more as i can... 1st time sweat so much in so short de time... tonite, me, Kit how n Tco nia sleep 2geter in 3a... talk 2geter... share our opinion.. haha.. happy 2 c tat so much menber stay til 9pm 2 train...
o so geng... better than me...^^

today is last day le, from te camp start on, i stil haven put o my effort on it.. I sry 2 my members, din teach them well.. sometime nt so patient... c o of my member so bia.. reli hope tat nx year n in future, there will b MORE n MORE pple will come n join lion dance camp... learn as much as u can.. then chu dui 2geter when new year...Fun ler.. i learn alot of things oso.. Hope others things will settle down oso as soon as posibble.. God bless plz...

HAHA, oso wanna 2 tell u o tat, 28th-31th gt lion dance training for F3 students ONLI... plz come if nt u will regret... If u din come 4 te camp tis year nvm, jz come 2 te training.. we will teach u de^^... help spread thx ya..

lion dance camp

In te 1st day de early morning, nid 2 wake up oled 2 go 2 scu prepare 4 lion dance camp, meet TCO n Kit How later at scu, chat 2geter, bt nt happy, cz....dun wan 2 say it le..Camp start after briefing 2 ajks.. when te ice breaking time, i reli feel proud of GMs, cz te game hav recreate in creative way, although te way of playing is stil same... Te onli problem is i was no mood 2 play n cant high ler.. Sry...very much. Cz even can let te GMs n camp commander angry, can understand te feeling, bt y i dint cooperate wif them earlier? No mood.. I gt do wrong, i dint control myself well when i was at camp..
Te training follow by, i mayb dint try my best yet, bt i can make sure i nvr snake today, if senior heng heng saw dao i jz rest a while de scene, then i cant say anything oso le... Tis kind of things happen owes... Then i try 2 play drum 4 te group, i din do very well, bcz i din practise owes b4, te drum i play nt sound nice.. So, my group de ajks n menbers, thx 4 sabar 4 so long, n it is nt te very gud de example.. It can b say very hurt when members can do better than me in a lot of things.. then a thinking will arise in my mind, tat is y i am te ajk muda, y shud nt b them.. heng eh.. too heng..
For a moody recently de me, reli hard 2 control my feeling le, n my dicipline oso... My frenz gt wan 2 help me today n wanna comfort me n help me, bt i din show my friendly 2 them today.. i was jz too angry.. bt duno y will feel lik tat.. Sry frenz n thx 4 tried...I hav said foul words today, reli high, lik zhou huo lu mo...
Finally, gt a chance 2 crazy a while after te camp finish today.. Walk out of scu compound 2getr wif Kit How in te heavy rain SLOWLY... haha, so nice 2 b so crazy ya.. Te feeling lik i scare nth even sick n die... i can gamble my life tat time... wat a crazy n unnormal de pple... Long time din crazy le... Long time din get bak my freedom le.... Wat shud i do? T-T

damn feeling n damn !@#$%^&*(

lol today reli so "nice" 4 me, wat a "nice" feeling n make me wanna read out some poems... tat 3 words de... No kidding n very serious... wat kind of comunication shud senior owes hav wif junior?
frenz o owes remind of te "senior" word? Respect? Wat a stupid n stubborn person i am... When i facing seniors, i take them reli as seniors, i respect them, onli if gt some reli friendly 2 me, i take them as frenz, bt less of them do lik tat, me nt active enuf? My fault? Wat shud i do? Argh, wat a useless de person... then wat shud others junior do 2 me then? take me as senior o fren?
Respect? lol...fren r better? Stil duno yet... Nth prove it yet...Nt dare 2 say any gosip le, kno it hurt since i oso scare of gosip...
Bt, today, even my frenz oso nid 2 b get angry.... Y? cz of communication problem, it owes present de... cz of attitude problem oso... when i say these.. i kno myself oso nt wat so geng n gud de person.. i'm sry then... nt onli tat, even some frenz de tone of talking, reli can let other ple misunderstanding, it is reli scary... i duno if i changed le? change 2 negative way... o i lose te respect from others.. o no ple wan 2 respect me actually...
Te feeling even deeper when i was given a task today... it is reli nt so ez de work... Wonder who shud i blame... it is bcz of tat person din giv me full information 2 make my work smoother? bt te fact is y dun i ask 4 it myself? N i oso nvr try 2 do it b4.. Mayb it is te chance 2 wake me up, tat i shud jz b a normal person, o i too seldom 2 do such work le, so i rust a bit... A alasan 2 cheat myself? duno.. very blur.. Wishing 4 a chance, 2 let me explode, tat no 1 kno i exploded, tat wun harm others.. tat i can 4get o of these

My Holiday of year 2007

When te orientation comittee list jz out, i duno i shud b happy onot, everything turn blur 2 me suddenly, wat kind of pple i shud b tat time... i mean TAT TIME!!! It is oled very hard n painful 4 me 2 separate from my ajk muda frenz... I shud act lik a vp? bt how shud i threat my frenz? i take myself as a normal person tat time.. force myself 2 do nth.. cz i dun wan te pose 2 create walls between me n my frenz... bt since it had no effect...
My frenz o mess up oled, many of them quarrel, n i cant do anything 2 help, te gosip n salah faham reli can make frenz b enemies.. blieve tat!!! Thx 2 God, 2 help settle down o of te quarrel happened finally..
Bt, te pose... stil gt it bad effect.. i dun lik n will feel very very sad when my frenz meet me, then o straight call me vp ... i am stil JAi SENG, te 1 u kno, we r frenz, bt stil gt some gud frenz i mean GUD FRENZ do lik tat...
Fortunately, te bbq activity held hav let me express my feeling, fullfilled feeling... turn very high n high.. tats te way of me 2 express myself, if nt u will c me diam diam de suffer alone.. haha
i caught many of frogs, 4 eh, a family..haha.. then i go n let some gal c them, o screaming~ lol, so high c them screaming i oso do te same thing.. scream out te fan nao....nt ok yet bt feel very well le after tat
We go 2 te playground after tat, i was jz act lik small child.. we having fun n hav our heart 2 talk 2 each other~ haha.. duno wat i saying.. bt tat day reli a sweet memory 4 me, get bak my fren
Then, 4 te orientation meeting following, i hav b a bad person whic i dun lik 2 b... we manage 2 get te feedback from ajks... "nice" feedback ya.. tat able 2 make me cry..seriously ...
Once 1st feedbak i gt, i saw wat them write, it is reli suffering 4 me..bad comments toward me... te tone used tat very hurt... i wan 2 giv up oled many time, bt i nt dare.. duno y...
Gt camp CH oso at te following day, te 1st day i at te camp i oled feel moody, nt bcz of tat camp bad, bt i reli fan, i cant 4get te comment bout me...i oso hav my personal problem when in tat camp.. tat enuf 2 make me moody n wanna stay alone... i try 2 get rid of it, bt cant...
Fortunately, i hav my time wif my fren counting stars outside te camp at night, hav te chance 2 express myself on te stage wif frenz.. giv me chance 2 high n do a thing tat let me feel happy enuf....te last day of te camp, actually i will nt cry de, tat amos..zzzz duno y cry le, make me think of a lot of things again, sweet memory wif him, we play basketball at scu during midnight when it is raining, we chat 2geter, we go lion dance chu dui 2geter, play at taman tat time..haha
cry le, cz he is gonna leaving us soon.. n tat day sure i will cry again..
So, frenz, blieve tat o of u important 2 me, even we less chat 2geter, u o hav pass thru my life, i will rmb it n menghargainya...
Te following orientation meeting is stil ok, i sick onli, thx 2 my frenz tat take care of me n guan xin me... appreciate it...
Till now i haven fully recover, bt gt bak my confidence.. thx ya frenz
te problem i facing now nvr reduce, bt i manage 2 handle it le, bcz of o of my frenz.. so tis holiday
reli useful 4 me... omos F4 le, duno wat else sad things wil happen in future, bt hope i stil gt my gud frenz supporting me owes

me?

As normal person, i hav a normal life,
Onli wif unnormal de thinking way, a special way tat others hard 2 understand me, hard 2 kno me well, hard 2 comunicate wif me...
Mayb u will find tat i am jz a kid tat very childish when games, very unfriendly when i stay cool, very unresponsible when i dun wan 2 do anything le o something else...
BT, did u find out te other 1 bout me? U did, bt not succeed..
Hav u ever search 4 ur true heart? succeed?
true heart come after true heart... u will kno it after u found ur true heart..
i may nt can comfort u when u nid, mayb help nth when u nid help...
bt when u wan a true heart, i will show my kindness...
4 u, mayb tis article is noob n gt many grammar mistake o smth, bt i am using my true heart 2 write out te feeling...
So many changes arround me b4 n even stil happening now, i nid 2 growing.. i mz accept o these realities.. if nt, i will feel more painful
A lot of fingers pointing me, my frenz oso gt their own stress recently...o suffering
Rely on frenz n close 1 eye open 1 eye r wat i can do now..bt frenz, y u o dun wan show me ur true heart oso.. i wanna help
So, frenz, plz blieve tat u hav play an important role in my heart... as i hope i am oso in ur heart