My voice...

I just spent my time for a movie " What Would Jesus Do" instead of dota game which i usually play in this holiday..

hmm.. well, thanks God who touched my heart through the movie..It had been harden and blindfolded for long in this holiday...

Honestly, i promised to God something i have to achieve in this holiday.. but too bad i lower my defence to temptations...

There was really quite a lot of complicate situations for me.. complicate feeling and though were hunting me.. hmm, well i guess all these happened and came to me were God's plan.. To bring me into higher level of maturity in Him..

I don't reli feel good when im in a long holiday in Miri and locked at home lol.. It turn worst when i follow the living way of flesh.. oh God.. plz let ur kingdom come to my family asap..

God, there is really tons of question in my head.. i m desperate for the resolution and answer.. i need u lord... i need u.. i don't want the dark night..

Sp. Dry

Hmm... I am dry today..
maybe because of fatigue..
Mayb because of i over depend on myself..
Things should not come out from me...
But Him..
I know i have to more alert in receive the eternal and long lasting, refreshing water..

God...I can't....by my own..
I want to see breakthrough in my life...
God.....

God loves you

I am sorry Father God, for I always forgot about Your love..

Building of Faith

Starting the end of August, after i made my decision to join the Bible Conference organized by Hope church as well as the "Persecuted Church Camp.. There were lot of up and down i gone through...rather to say it was my faith gone through up and down, i would say it was my semangat.. As faith given by God cant be taken by any1.. We cant let emotion and semangat pull the back leg of faith.. =') Too bad, my spirit influenced easily by things..

Honestly, i played dota often for these few weeks. So i would like to take dota as example. if this was a dota game, i believe i'll gain many experience point if i can overcome these up and down of spirit. I believe i am hitting a "Roshan" at low level.. thats the harsh monster..ya i cant do it myself But God is Mighty right? I may walk toward wounds, BUT the end of victory is a healing! Greater healing with Resurrection! Amen... I am stil hitting this high level monster.. God always want to build us, more like a pure Gold, which can endure to any challenges.

Once in July, i hurt my knee when playing basketball, with a clearly sound of "crap" heard.. It is not bone! but ligamen tear, I am having 80% ACL tear now..This injury do bring me quite a lot of problem.. it is not v pain, but unstable!

I am worry to further practise in volleyball,basketball and lot of more high demand sports which i may need to master as syllabus of my course. I turn nervous when i had came to the general hospital for scope. The 1st day b4 scope is still favourable for me as i can stay in 2nd class wad which gt aircond.. but it turn different when i myself have to being "bius". So nervous haha! Then it followed by a frustate when doctor told me ACL tear of 80%. I knew i hurt my ligament, but tat statement reli hurt for me.. That night i had a terrible time in inconvenience of movement, especially in go to toilet!!! MY knee felt pain after i move.. Thanks God painkiller was given by doctor...

Then i am given 2 weeks of mc.. Well i got alot of mc this sem.. Too much time to calm down.. But i didn't spend much time for God from that much much much of leisure time.. i did spent sometime on reading of spiritual book, think of the purpose of God behind all this thiings... well actually, what i had realize after these is my practical of faith is too weak.. i may know what should i do n what should i dont, but haiz.. i failed.. not bcz of God.. but jz because i didn't surrender all myself to Him, let Him incontrol of me.. I also realize how nice it is to have a simple but strong faith.. Just believe without much doubt.. But faith is something present with doubt and question, but still believe over the hope.. hmm, i want to be a people of strong faith in God.. used by God, to bring lives to Him...

My family helped me alot through comfort and support. but too bad i respond with my weakness of hot temper. i am sorry.. give me time to overcome this k? not by myself.. but understand Jesus more.. to love you all more too...

Recent update

It have been a long time since my last post..
Thanks God I am motivated to express my situation here today..

More and more things happened around me..
It just like cars in KL, whereby you won't magnify each of them too much anymore, because it came to your life just as it is normal and part of your life..

It may not impossible to let reader understand the situations I were in, but the feelings of mine were far more complicate to let one understand...
Too bad it maybe harder for some of us here that have lost contact for long.. I have to apologise too for being newbie in this. But I am "growing" healthily.. No doubt, I believe you still can understand what I mean by "growing" here..

If I say I don't live for the world,
I hope you can know who am I living for...

If I die one day,
I hope you know perfectly where am I going...

It is not an easy task when you commit to Christ,
but you'll commit naturally when you know how real, how mighty is the God..


thanks God i am embedded in the grace... The grace which is actually a gift for every1 of us..

Maybe,
Jesus had been calling you in your life for times,
but you are too busy, eventually reject Him..
Today, I believe Jesus is still calling you..
I would like to encourage you to open your heart to Him..
Testimony this truth!
Amen...

得救？

你若口里认耶稣为主，心里信上帝叫他从死里复活，就必得救。
Roman 10:9


这是圣经里的教导。
圣经：圣经都是上帝所默示的，于教训，督责，使人归正，教导人学义，都是有益的。 （2 Timotis 3：15）

既然“圣经都是上帝所默示的”， 我想我们都有必要去验证这到底是真是假。。 若假的，就可救醒世上许许多多的基督徒，若真的，欢迎你来到神为你准备的救恩和国度。

愿圣灵时时刻刻引导你们。。 =D

Home!

It is good to have home.
Besides my home at Miri, i miss my home at Hope KB and
i would like to visit my home in Heaven too XD....

“他们说，当信主耶稣，你和你一家都必得救。"
使徒行传16：31

i would still continue my prayer although my family don't realize and practise the God's love.

God ll help us,
never abandon us...
Thanks God
halleluyah~~ =D

A sharing about my growth in Christ :

Sudah hampir satu tahun saya tinggalkan rumah saya dan menuntut pelajaran berjauhan dari tempat pelindung saya (rumah). Namun, saya tidak terasa merungut, sebaliknya saya ingin mengirim syukur kepada Tuhan. Sebab Dialah yang mendengar doa dan cinta anakNya, iman saya telah bertumbuh dan ingin saya kongsikan serba sikit perkara yang luar biasa di kehidupan saya setahun ini.
Chapter 1 : Kekalahan sementara

Dari june 2010 sehinggalah jan 2011, saya tidak berusaha sangat untuk menghadirkan diri di gereja kerana kekurangan azam untuk mengenal Tuhan lebih lagi, gereja yang terdekat memerlukan perjalanan satu jam dan kos tambang yang tinggi. Hanyalah antara Kristian di kampus saya kadang-kala ada “fellowship” dan “sharing”.

Chapter 2 : Pembukaan jalan oleh Tuhan

Situasi mendapat berkat daripada Tuhan pada permulaan bulan April. Tuhan telah mengaturkan pengangkutan secara percuma daripada pihak gereja di Kota Bharu. Pada masa itulah saya kerelaan pergi ke gereja disebabkan x perlu bayar kos tambang yang mahal.

Chapter 3 : Cubaan-cubaan dan cara mengatasi dengan bantuan Tuhan

a. Konflik dengan kawan sekelas
- diselesaikan dengan ambil initiatif minta maaf dulu walaupun bukan kesalahan saya semata-mata kerana saya mengikut ajaran firman Tuhan
ROMA 12:18 (ROMAN 12:18)
ROMA 14:19 (ROMAN 14:19)
ROMA 15:2 (ROMAN 15:2)
MATIUS 5:44 (MATTHEW 5:44)


b. Ketakutan kepada iblis dan hantu
- Saya minta pastor untuk doa untuk saya. Pastor itu minta saya berdoa selalu lalu beritahu saya satu janji Tuhan kepada anak-anaknya.
1 Yohanes 4:4 (1 john4:4)

Chapter 4 : Pertumbuhan Iman peringkat awal

Hasil daripada kerelaan bergantung kepada Tuhan dan menurut ajarannya, saya nampak apa yang Tuhan kurniakan lebih indah daripada yang saya inginkan. Kawan-kawan saya berbaik semula dengan saya dan saya tidak takut kepada iblis dengan kekuatan Tuhan. Ketenangan dan Kekuatan telah berada di hati saya dengan percaya dan bergantung kepada Tuhan.

Chapter 5 : Tuhan bercakap dengan saya ( melebihi kebetulan )

Lepas saya semakin percaya dengan Tuhan ini, saya pun galakkan diri untuk baca dan berfikir tentang firman Tuhan serta melaksanakannya. Lalu, contoh di bawah ialah peristiwa yang saya rasa Tuhan bercakap dengan saya.
a. terbaca firman tentang Ayub 1:21
- Saya terbaca firman ini pada pagi saya nak mendaki Gunung Tebu yang boleh dikatakan mencabar.

Firman ini bercerita tentang Ayub dulu yang setia kepada Tuhan, katakan segalanya ialah kurniaan Tuhan, dan segala juga Tuhan boleh alihkan daripada hidupnya. Masa itu, saya menyiapkan diri dan bersedia sekiranya saya mungkin cedera kah, ataupun ada malapetaka yang berlaku pada saya atau orang sekeliling.
HASILNYA, malapetaka kematiaan berlaku pada saudara kawan sekelas saya! Pada masa itu saya merendahkan diri di depan Tuhan yang betul-betul berkuasa ini.
Tuhan seolah-olah menunjukkan kekuasaan dan janjinya walaupun malapetaka bukan berlaku pada saya


b. terbaca firman tentang kisah para rasul 1:24
- Masa itu saya sedang rungsing untuk memilih 1 gereja antara 2. Pada ketika itu saya mendapati bahawa situasi saya sama dengan yang dicerita dalam firman Tuhan juga. Saya pun berdoa selalu supaya memberi tunjuk jalan seperti yang para rasul buat dahulu.
Tuhan seolah-olah bagi tahu saya Dia tahu situasi saya dan nak saya bawa perkara tersebut ke depan Dia dan berdoa

c. terbaca firman Tuhan tentang Matius 7:7
- masa saya berdoa untuk exam saya yang kurang persediaan dan banyak halangan untuk saya mendapat keputusan yang baik, saya baca firman Tuhan juga. SEKALI lagi, saya terbaca firman ini.
Tuhan seolah-olah bagi tahu saya dia janjikan apa yang saya doa tadi.

Chapter 6 : Penyelamat kepada keluarga saya
- Walaupun ada ahli keluarga saya yang belum menerima Tuhan atau dekat kepada Tuhan, namun dalam firman Tuhan kisah para rasul 16:31(Act 16:31), Tuhan menjanjikan keselamatan kepada sekeluarga sekiranya ada satu anggota yang percaya kepada Nya.
- Emak saya yang tidak pergi gereja sudah mula datang ke gereja sekarang. Dia meluahkan isi hatinya kepada saya bahawa dia ingin datang ke hadapan Tuhan dan menyanyi lagu “worship” apabila dia sedih dan rungsing. Saya nampak keinginan mak saya untuk balik kepada Tuhan. Puji Tuhan!!!!

CHAPTER INCOMING : WRITTEN BY GOD AND TO BE WITNESSED BY US
*Semua perkongsian saya di atas adalah secara ringkas atas kelupaan saya tentang perincian,namun perkongsian ini adalah benar dan berlaku pada kehidupan saya. Saya berharap perkongsian ini membantu memperkukuhkan iman adik-beradik dalam Jesus. Amen...

BY: LING JAI SENG (GBU)

Wonderful Weekend with God

"For God there is nothing impossible."
I myself had experienced more about how God could work in our life..

The solution of conflicts, spreading of gospel in my family, the growth of faith, and lot of other blessings...

I don't think it is the luck who is working on these,
in fact i would like to glorify Lord for the peace He is giving to me through these Sweet and Sour dish..

With the connection by Amon, I manage to know the other frens in KB hope chuch. They are mostly Sarawakian. What made my adventure fantastic is i am the Chinese which is rare in their group.

We went for futsal, baptism, bbq during the weekend.
Thanks God for this exposure.
I felt warm and lovely...
They treated me with love which you ( God ) see it as a v v important element..



God, please teach me how to love as how You love Your creature..
Build me up!
let me be Your medium to spread the love too..
Please bless those frens in KB hope church too, God..
but don't follow my will, but Your will..
May your kingdom work wonderfully around us...
In the name of Yesus,
I pray, Amen

Argh!

Haunted by unwanted thing!
Zzz

Happy birthday, Sin Wei

Dear sin wei,

Happy birthday ya. haha, though u had left but we, chinese in ipg here stil oganised a simple birthday celebration for you.
Didn't have any birthday cake, but with birthday song, wishes, sincerity, i think u would be happy too if you could still b here...
Amos had made a slide show out of pics and wishes from us for you. When the girls are watching on the slide show, i saw some of them get wet in their eyes, some of them hung a smile on their face but i felt the sorrow. Anyway, i believe you don't wish us to be desperate for times, yet i believe you would feel sad to see them to hung a fake smile. But don't worry, they would grow somehow,they would be strong 1 day, though take time...
Sin Wei,
I did edit the lyric of a song for you.. I sang for you with the accompany of guitar's plucking by Louis. We tried for almost 2 hours for it.. Sry ya i don't have a good sound and singing skill. I hope you like it anyway.
Louis and Amos them called me "长老" just now. Then only i realized i am the eldest chinese among this batch now. You, me and Louis are 91's in this batch, yet you and me always dislike being the eldest. But then i reli wished to help all of them jz now. I mean understand their situation and help. But i understand that it is not a must too. They could have their own trustful friends to share with. Well, I would pray for them, help them whenever i could. So, don't worry la.
Thank you for the present in our memory, thank you for letting us have such chance to grow. Happy birthday to you...

纪念 3月10号

假日已开始了五天左右，
同样那悲剧也过了五天左右。。。

Iniyan ( my previous roommate )
Joseph ( my neighbour )
Goh Shu Yin ( my tough chinese friend )
Alexis Goh Sin Wei ( my cheerful chinese friend )

放假的星期四下午，
就在我和朋友玩乐时，
突然接到一个无望的消息，Sin Wei and Iniyan 在车祸中当场身亡。
那个晚上又接着收到Joseph and Shu yin 相继过世的消息。。。。。。

说实话，
我并不"显得"很难过，
心理上是有影响,
可我想表达上是有差别吧。。。

生命，
短暂，
最糟糕的是，
如果我们都活错了生命，目的。。。

我选择在沉淀了几天后才写出自己的心情，
是希望观察自己真实，隐藏的心情。

结果，
发现自己还不懂得珍惜。
觉悟也不过维持那几天罢了。。
HMM，
主啊，
恳求你眷顾我。。。

这个假期
我在SIVA的家度过，
他们一家人，
好热闹哦。。。
也体验了很多东西。

他的妈妈煮得一手好菜，
华人，马来人，印度人的餐点，
都难不倒她。
拥有可平静心灵的和蔼，慈祥。。。

他的爸爸，
待人厚道，
也让人有人安全感。。。

他的弟弟和妹妹，
都很开朗，有自信。。。

有时会感触，
觉得他们对自己都好真哦。
反看自己，
不知想要隐藏什么似的。。。

HMM，
恐惧,像是笼子；
自卑，像是大石；
靠自己，我没信心面对，
惟有靠神，给我明确的生命意义，
我才有那勇气，
去作一番。。。

主啊，
离了你，
我还能作什么？
啊门。。。。。。

冰冻的城堡

失控，
陷入低潮，
冰冷的气流漂流在血液中，
却无法平静那烦燥。。。

脆弱的冰，
脆弱的心。。。

多少个夜晚，
已成了平静自己的粉丝。。

多少个星星，
看着我以睡眠来逃避事实。。。

主啊，
求祢赐我安慰，
抓紧我。。。。。。。。

Happy birthday da ge!

To jai zing :
Life isn't easy, but you had accompany me all the time..
Life isn't long, yet thanks God we can be sibling..
God bless ya..

Stretched mind

Lot of things to endure lately...
Yet my rational thinking and self control don't stand a chance to rest...

If i had give up on God,
i would already lose myself..

Am i so special? If so why do i am afraid to be and admit it?

For God there is no coincidence,
I went for a counseling session just now.
It was a group counseling whereby there are 5 of us ( PJ coursemate )

The process and procedure are not much different as i can guess.
However, what gained my attention was the session to draw out your own strength and fitness..

*No leakage of the others's drawing of strengths and weaknesses would be made"

I was the 1st 1 to introduce my own strengths and weaknesses.
To be honest, i don't view myself as a person with much strength but more weaknesses.

In the drawing which i draw without much consideration and doubt,
i draw a cross with a heart, as well as some minor explanation..

I do,
I do believe that the relationship with God is everything.
I believe all my strengths and weaknesses are from God,
morever, for all of these are useless if i don't contribute it in the way God prefer it to be..

So,i didn't describe clearly my strengths and weaknesses in my drawing, but a cross with heart..

Which reflect my mind that,
I am nothing without God..
yet i can't do anything..
The anything i can do also would be nothing lastly..

I really be honest to myself in that time..

But i reli wonder again once i saw the others' drawing and heard the others' explanation..

They have much different opinion..

I have to admit 1 of my weakness here too.
I take time to accept the others as well as the things i dislike or disagree.

I can't conclude much for them..
I believe God have His own plan for me..

I pray for my growth,
please bless me to hav a close relationship with You, God..
I pray for my future,
If You agree to let me become a counsellor or hav the counsellor's skill to serve the people, please bless me and help me, lead me to the way..
I pray for those couples and singles today,
so that they could back to you.
Pray that less people commit suicide due to Breakage of Love..
In the name of Jesus, Amen..

Not more than words, yet not 1 could understand easily

I am now doing the thing i didn't do for months,
which is having my flashback with the sentimental song surround my mind...
>< I don't like to immerse myself in a blue, but i found that the feelings in the songs could understand me actually..

I am not special,
but sometime i am wonder whenever i seem like so "special"..

I knew i did the right things sometimes,
but sometime it was not in the eyes of others..

I knew the complex spiritual problem which can makes me down most severely,
but sometime it was not easy to have others understand why i am like this......

Silence,
is hard to understand, but not hard to notice

Words,
is not hard to notice, but hard to understand

I used to back to God for His greatest love, care and comfort,
but i have fall lately..
i have fall lately..

农历新年

很幸运的，
上帝给了我这个机会回来美里庆祝新年。

其实，
我并不在乎有否庆祝，
只是家人是我最大考量的因素。

在机票上就花费RM1000左右，
并不是我向往的作风。。。

或许，
我可以用这笔钱，
去 EXPLORE 西马，
去 捐款，
去 买些会帮助我在外生活的用品。。。

花费在机票上，
心也会淌着血的 TT 。。。

在家里也没帮上什么忙，
就做些自己的事情。。。

在乎什么，
执着什么，
有时真搞不懂。。。

离了祢，
我还能做什么。。。

主阿，
恳求祢怜悯我，
教我懂的了解与施行爱。。。

没有祢，
没有爱，
没有意义。。。

新年又怎么快乐呢？

Hidden feeling

I myself doubt my love to my family..

I myself aiming for things but not for family..

I myself know i owe them a lot..

But

I myself didn't practise to love them..

I myself didn't spend much time to think for them here..

I myself didn't care about what happen at home when i am away..

I myself don't bother if i lose contact with family!!!

Sharing need practise..
While it has been a long time i didn't share through blog..
Things really come by groups,
somehow i can't share every single 1 here too...

My God,
thank you for let me still have this little bit of guilty and knowing that i m a bad son..
please lead me to the path i should...
if i really don't appreciate things and people around,
please let me go through lessons,
and if endanger in death could help,
please ready myself for it too..
Amen..