My feeling (right after i back from church)

I m so touch i back to church again..
and yet i can feel tat God is leading me..
tis is te 1st time i go Tuan2 Qi4 after so long time being a fake Christian lol..
hav the feeling of wanna express something to him n cry in front of him..
i dun wan to leave God..
>.<..

haha... just make some update on the facebook again bout the camp..
i think..
i ll make it come true after spm..
do believe in yourself, jai..
jy!!

T.T... din study much tis few days

Aiya...
today you4 no study dao le except tat 2 hours de tuition..
=.=...
motivate yourself fast fast...
get it as a habit fast fast...
houh...
left around 2 weeks le...
haha jz made a page for CH 09's graduate in facebook...
kindly refer to
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/CH-09s-Graduate/163448322772?ref=ts
o search for CH 09's graduate ba
it is te 1st step to do survey bout te interest n comments of form 5 students..
>.<.. i may only plan it after SPM le lo.. need out my focus on test stil.. hehe.. but i ll leave it to GOD.. if i hav te strong will n there hav around 30 people wanna hav a camp.. i ll go on my plan n finish it in a week of time.. but now.... i hav to go church.. back le jiu ll study le.. i will study de!!!!

^^ i found the solution hehe..

erm..
i have an idea last few days before when i was chatting wid Kevin in msn..
tat is organize a camp for our close fren n te1 we care la..
Is it exciting???
well i guess it is lol...

i do decide to make a camp after my secondary scu life..
i wan to challenge myself..
so i do discuss wid Mr. Lucas bout my idea today..
it was definitely a useful lesson for me again hehe..

lets view back what happen jz now..
>.<

haha i prepare myself so well for tat lol..
i take it as an interview n i present it to him..
he oso help me to express wat i wan n my feeling..
haha i oso tell him i m afraid too..
not bcz i no tat ability to make te camp.
but i hav no confidence now..
as i scare i cant influence te frens..
i m totally no problem wid te objective of the camp, the schedule or anything else.
jz i hav no confidence on myself..
so mr. Lucas ask me to do it step by step..
so i decide to start wid small gathering 1st..
but not a normal gathering..
but fill of meaningful activities and oso healthy topic n mind washing..
i jz hope i can do something to te frens who willing to accept my help..
so after the spm, i ll definitely try to plan it wid te frens involved..
lets do something meaningful!!
something tat worth for us to do at this YOUNG age hehe~

actually, i cried again in his office la..
cz remind of the things i go through b4..
those harsh moment whic others may not understand..
feel better oso la.
i can feel tat i m improving..
i m proud of tat...
erm..
i jz nid some ken3 ding4 la..
so far dou less ken3 ding4 by others de..
but nvm..
soon, i ll be v v v v v tough..
i m te1 who can contribute lots to others..
jy!!!

Pain XD

haha today snake at home lol..
muscle so pain now..
old bone old body..
sigh jz exercise a while jiu not tahan le..
stil expect myself can do more lagi ler..
so fast reach maximum limit meh..
haha..
gonna find back my study mood ler..

STUDY MOOD ah...

我一定要你回来~~~

!!!!

Shao!!!
some incredible idea out wid Kevin...
but i hav to manage myself better..
put my all focus on SPM stil..
jy..
God, i can feel it..
u ll lead me right?
i can feel tat i m standing out in front now..

Arrr....

hmm.. jz finish my 2nd trial today..
so far i m reli not satisfy wid te trial results..
but i understand there r no points to regret..
te memory i hav make me grow until now..
thx God...

actually, i m quite stress tis few days..
something wrg wid me haha...
and i think it is not bcz of te spm..
is something bout my mind..
distract by some unknown things..
i choose to exercise n play wid fren after te test but not study..
erm quite happy lo..
at least i can hav chance to touch badminton again..
more n more chance to in contact wid Jacky too..
i m working hard to improve our relationship^^..

i played basketball and badminton..
i m satisfy wid my performance as i kno i can do better if i practise more..
jz my muscle pain le now..
feel better after sapu medicine..
today cant release o my negative feeling lo..
but i cant stop my foot now..
i need to go on..
i ll use my mind to overcome te rest..
wid te help of God..
"THE SECRET".. teach us to think positive..
to gain positive result too..
i m trying on it..
it ll bring me to a better way!!

erm..
i dun think there is a need to publish tis blog to too many person yet la..
tis blog is te place i write my diary..
my hidden feeling..
jy
jy jy!!!!!!
u r te one who is capable and yet loyal...
live like how God live..
think lik how God think..
Do like how God did..
amen....

I miss this chatbox..

http://shuling_wong.shoutmix.net/

*chrc blog is currently dun hav chat box now..
however, i stil encourage te usage of it lo >.<...
but te admin mz reli kno te responsibility of them..
they shud kno wat to do to protect te others..
but not creating more problems...
erm.. duno wat to do wid tis chatbox too actually..
for those who reli wan to refresh back to te past when free..
kindly visit tis website lo hehe^^

Nightmare!! totally nightmare!!

ZzzzzzzZZ...
it make me suffering throughout te dream n in real life..
but i feel better now le..
te feeling is worst at te moment i jz wake up..

haiz..
actually...
it is te dream bout how desperate i m lo..
Isi isi penting:

Pendahuluan: "she" came to my house for holiday wid her those close fren.. My family member welcome them lagi! well, cz i cant accept it to happen yet ba haha..

P2: They overnight at my house.. te unknown writer of te dream hav use some monolog dalaman to show te conflict happen in myself..

P3: Te story berkembang dengan peristiwa i run from my house.. in order to escape from te hell may be to myself..

P4: Te day i back to my home again, they r stil there.. My mum kno bout my detail of my previous 1st love le.. Te climaks happen when i cant control my emotion n burst out in front them..

P5: Te peleraian hav been happen through te comfort from ( ?? forget le.. ).

Kesimpulan: I cool down myself once again.. choose to treat it wid positive way.. more opened mind.. everything ll b ok.. i sure can handle de...

****
haha then i jiu wake up le..
stunned on te bed for few minutes..
haha..
i think,
it is a nightmare for me..
bcz i dun wan burst out..
i kno i cant change something in past..
i jz wish to handle myself well..
hmm... XD

Open or not open?

Guys.. plz giv me some idea n suggestion..
shud i open tis blog o not?
te blog is te place i wan to express my personal feeling..
now i hav bit feel to use my blog to influence te frens around me too by some positive feeling too eh
>.<
How?

25th Nov 2009..

Yesterday was the birthday party of Kit Wee lo..
Though his actual birthday is at 28th Nov la..
but he has to celebrate earlier..
i did hav fun there lo..
wanna go study at pustaka tat morning de.
but go le cai realize tat day is cuti umun..
dewan suarah oso not open..
haiz then i jiu study there lo..
I reli can study there ler!!

there r 2 meaningful incidents in tat morning..
one of tat is i met Gary Yong n Chua Wei Hui outside te pustaka lo...
we hav some talk..
hehe i can interact better than past le ler..
erm i feel te changes in Wei hui lo..
he is so helpful..
and he told me he is 1 of te yi4 gong1 of LZ too..
tats giv me a big impact..
Lz reli do bring big impact to me too..
tats y i feel to help others too..
i wan influence n help those who stil dun hav direction in their life.. >.<..

tat afternoon i met jia yang lo..
went to his house to study..
then str8 go Kit Wee house for party at 5 le..
I did interact n sharing!
i m not te one who cant contribute smile to others..
hav some doggy action..
hav some serious talk bout moral value n general knodledge too..
thx Joanne, Hien Yung, Alvin, Kevin more n more lo..
haha quite sad to heard tat Ben is going to Study oversea few weeks after Spm..
hmm i ll pray for u to de la..


25th*
i go to church today.. i met Moses..
haha everything happened as planned by God..
i hav accept so many activities in church..
and back to God..
in a formal.. better understanding situation..
however..
now i stil feel lonely in te way of Christian la..
te frens around me now dou not v sincere in Jesus yet too de lo..
hmm
GOD, u reli mz hold me tight ya..
i ll jy de..
i can live in ur way alone too..
i ll slowly adapt myself..
haha..
i wish more n more frens i care can come to church n back to God too..
The present God ll give is free..
it is te endless life..
not in te form of human where we hav sin..
i hav confidence i can go to paradise 1 day..
i m willing to help those who willing to believe in God o hav come changes too..
Frens.. i m here to help..
practising to help..

Nightmare..

Sigh..
dream of accident again..
so scary n too terrible le la..
zzz in dream oso cant find brake..
so fen3 ci4...

haha jy ah jai..
hav a nice day ya..

I wanna boost myself!

Thx god for motivate me to hav my biology test today lol..
ben lai dun wan waste time go n sit there fa dai only de..
haha but not bad la..
i experience te feel of last test in CH...
although sleep more than writing on paper..


i hav went to lz around 3.00pm..
i do talk wid mr. Lucas again b4 tutition..
haha he boost me alot again..
showing his confidence on me n
told me he wish i can b te leader in lz too... ( in future la haha)

erm..
thx for letting me kno tat i m mature cz i m willing to think..
thx for let me kno tat i hav to challenge myself more..
let me kno tat i do not need to hav others to pei me in all te stuff..
i nid to b independent too..
i cn do alot of things still wid alone.. i no nid rely on others... tats cool..
i wan to achieve tis attitude..
then i ll b different wid lots of ple..
i can do well in my future road..
finally thx for helping me in te lz camp fee..
u free me RM 80 ler..
lol now i hav no tat ability to earn te money yet..
i ll probably back n help lz after graduate gua..
thx God for leading me o te time..

You ll find ur way in the name of God..

Hmm...
din prepare well for te Add math paper 2 today..
i oso din handle well te bc essay..
but is ok..
it is a trial..
i aim for SPM..
GOD.. plz keep me wid u..
live in ur bless...

went to LZ to hav my physic tuition again jz now..
Mr. lucas talked wid me in his office..
he was care bout me n asked me bout my situation..
and i cried accidentally and unexpectedly..
all of a sudden..
i reli duno i hav stress in my heart..
i tot i digest oled..
haha but it is ok..
may God give me a chance to cry..
^^...
so long time no gen3 ye4 lik tat le..
waa te sound so funny man..
haha...
but i ll keep going stil..
thx Mr. lucas hehe

o.0

waaa..
almost get crazy in bus tis morning..
tahan dao4 so xin ku..
kelian ler..
duno wat happen to tat malay aunt too..
sing in te bus n keep laugh..
haiz..
sit beside me lagi!!!!
luckily i forget tat now..


hmm..
today ah.. stil not bad lo..
though keep think of te past..
but i did study in te bus tis morning oh..
jz continue like tis..
make yourself nervous bout spm..
u can do it de!!!
realize te advantage of single ba..
lonely not te world u hav to stay all te time..
gambateh jer..

>.<

Aiks...
i jz finish bath n look into te mirror to c myself..
i saw a long hair guy...
haha... it do remind me of something...
there is a moment u say i look good when in short hair..
but looks lik "ye3 ren2" lagi in long hair..
zzz n now i m a ye ren loooo haha...


mayb nid to hav a hair cut soon le..
at least ll in better mood haha..
long hair seem lik so down eh..
jy guy...
=(....

So huai nian..

Woohoo having a dream i ever had around 3 years b4..
almost te same 1..
i can feel tat it was te same dream..

a weird life in scu
where a gal i like hav been captured by evil...
i was in fear when i m stil tat age ler haha..
now.. no more lo..
there r more things scary then ghost..
hehe so huai nian my samurai sword in te dream..
my weapon ler...
put so much effort to make it..
to save te gal...

tats all la...
it is not a nightmare..
thx GOD

Aiya my stomach...

Sien din wear cloth n let te air go into my stomach..
now pain pain pain le!!!
ish..


haha today go lz tuition again..
i like to meet wid mr. Lucas..
like to share wid him..
even jz few words..
he is te 1 sure ll listen to me too..
wahahaha...
thx God..
n thx mr Lucas for help me come back to God..

kor ah..
jy in ur test ah...
gambateh...
wait u back...
to giv a warm hug..
too many things wanna share wid u le..
will explode de oh..
so fast fast back after my spm ah.
dun forget we stil wan to go swim together..
teach me oh..


*****
hmm.. speechless...
nvm nvm... XD i wun how..
i ever think lik tat too..
forgiveness is important..
though seem lik suspect my side here..
but is ok.
jy ba...
God judge everything, not me...

Haiz

Erm..
dream dao some weird weird de dream again..
nvm la..at least winnie did talk wid me inside..
haha i can differentiate it once i wake up oh.
cz tis is reli not real.. wun happen de..
something wun happen...
for tis period..


aiya..
te car kena me played xia now many problem le..
quite guilty...
go go go..
dun kacau me..

hahaha..
happy birthday Fionna...
wish u can live happily n meaningful...
jy!

T_T

Dad back le..
kena him say arr....
stil feel depressed although i expected it oled..
$^%^&*

....
ush!!!!
dun spoil my mood..
i duno wat decision o action u 2 wanna do to me..
jz go ahead...
dun feel to find te reason o excuse for tat incident too..
i did wrg..
tats all!!
yeah~
go go go..
ban me la..
dun feel to touch te car for tis period too..


Jerome..
a doggy person..
and yet is quite pity too..
owes kena me bully lol....
jy ba..
will pray for u in ur future music's road..
reli wan find me to write lyric for u oh?
ahahaha...
wait i feng1 fu4 my knowledge more 1st lo...
gambateh!!

Dream?

Hmm..
it is a tiring day..
stil kena Mr. phang to "use" lagi n work for him until 6 something..
nth special today..
i din hav my mind cleared n appreciate my day today..
it is not a dream today gua..
although i feel tire now..

Hui yi..
jy oh!!
mayb those decisions n things r not happen in a suitable way..
but i ll pray for u too de..
even u cant c tis post haha...

DAMN!!!

Oh shit!
it is terrible enuf!!
sohai it jz lik a nightmare..
but it happen in real life! in my life..
tis morning lagi...
damn it...
luckily no1 injured cause of me..
damn wat happen to me?!
shit...
y m i so stupid?!!!!! y being so blur?!!!!!!
sien ah....
damn so guilty....
i x wan drive for tis few month le...

ARRRRRRRR....

Wayaiya.....

Haiz..
reli speechless...
i ll observe...
wat may happen te next..
who may kena distracted in front of te challenges...

study study study!!

thx _mos,
thx god...
i appreciate it..
long time no feel so le..
grabbed by some1...

" No one is perfect, so learn to forgive and forget..."


>.<....
a story of a stupid guy...
-he is motivating himself again..
-he is studying now..

Arrrr.. stupid jai..

DISAPPOINTED!!!

The story of a stupid guy who stil live in fairy tale..

Haiz..
reli duno wat i doing these few days..
set te target le oso stil te same..
feel lik i reli not zhu4 zong4 my life..
sigh..

WASTING TIME AH!!!!
argh..
it knock my door..
it is te consciousness bout reality..
now i could realize..
wat i believe n hav in mind before,
are jz jokes in front of te fact now..
how little i m..
how normal i ll be..
i know it now..
after i hav been so proud bout 18 years..
i hav no inner strength neither efficient knowledge...

Pui!!
no mood...

sien tis morning hav a dream again..
i reli dulan of dreaming anymore..
it jz remind me of how far it is from te real life..
it almost make me blur n tot te dream is true..
but it is jz something fake..


PITY!!
Useless...

13.10.09 Mid autumn festival..

Wow.. moon cake moon cake...
but ytd din eat dao moon cake..
my favourite bing1 pi2 yue4 bin3 ah!!
aiyo..

haha go to pustaka study again early morning..
i skip te talk in school..
wondering y there r stil hav student ll afraid of demerit system...
luckily there r stil some big bomb de fren go pustaka..
i m not lonely in study..
around 4.30pm...
all go swim at te public swimming pool..
i folo them too since ming invited me..
hm..
i did improve le hor..
can swim far 10cm lol..
kidding..
stil learning..
caact de..
move oso wun move..

night...
go hav dinner wid family..
buy some tradisional biscuit..
hehe i lik it..
keep feed it into my mouth after back home..

moon..
bulat bulat de..
haha..
te feeling of missing other come so strong in tis special day..
everything seem no perfection in front te white moon..
well..
wish tat those who r lonely now..
can cheer up wid te help of god..
life is stil go on..
^^...


"There r no interaction,
so better dun put expectation.."

it is ok... stil too young to have tat much yet..
jz let it being forgotten...