Numbness

A life, in the numbness of feeling...
Miserable..

Heavenly or Earthly..

I just baptised in 5.2.2012..
hmm, well I had been reborned since 2009 actually, after a fall in relationship XD..
which i can never forget...

hmm, feel discouraged lately,
the more i commit to God,
i am more agree that following Jesus is hard, damn hard..
For times i stil doubting,
*(well, earthly things keep distracting my focus and belief)
BUT! i don't doubt bout the salvation given to me..

Just, i spend too less time for God..
TOo much have to be drain out, but less intake i take..

God,
if this is the life You had designed for me..
Let me walk through it with You..
asap XD
lol!!!

Just feeling blue once in a blue moon..

Time x stay static at a point... Well now then we may realize changes is unavoidable..

Positive change, negative change.. it differ among everyone.. The same thing, may good for A, but actually bad for B. It relate to perspective too..

There are changes which mould me to a better one, also changes which broke me like no way out.. Individual hav to change, to adapt to the society, environment, reality.. Well this may seem discourage.. But it is just a feeling..

Hmm, i just too like to stay in past.. Mayb, i shall stop to live in the past somemore, even it is just yesterday..

Container

I don't think i can perform well in elaborate "container" within 3 minutes by other time... However, by this time, i would like to have a try... To express what am i thinking about this container..

"Container is a non living thing which used to store things.. SO, each container may have different function alter by its size, shape and material... "

So, there is a question...
If i refer a container to a living organism, What would u understand about the living container by putting analogy above into this case?
----"...each container may have different function alter by its size, shape and material... "

I believe everyone have own special characteristic, though sometime ignore, blindfolded..
thats why every container is special..

A container can store your feeling, secret, privacy,
some better container can even share your problem..
But every container is different, hence not every container suit us..
Personally, sometimes i do face problem in owning a container(even jz for temporary) when back to hometown. Ya i believe most of the people may deal with this..
It is not easy to get a suitable container to put in those things u had prepare, store for so long...
But i thank God,
For He always be a faithful one to me..
Be my container as well..

God..
God.. God...

hmm, thank You for reminding me about container..
I had realize that myself should be a faithful container for You too..
All Your love, grace, words, just put them inside..
Teach me to be a faithful one..

Father,
i surrender myself..
For You to take over...
As a container of Yours...

First post in 2012

Just have my first gathering with friends who i cherish a lot last night..
For sure not everyone may mix again as natural as past.. but thanks God there is friends who act as a good medium to link people up..

Well, still feel to say this again.. I don't really connect to these friends when i am away from Miri.. but i do still miss them haha.. lol...

Hmm, this is gonna be a short cny holiday for me.. i may not meet with all the people i wish to..but what to do? These are just part of life..

I just learn to go on by God'grace..

My voice...

I just spent my time for a movie " What Would Jesus Do" instead of dota game which i usually play in this holiday..

hmm.. well, thanks God who touched my heart through the movie..It had been harden and blindfolded for long in this holiday...

Honestly, i promised to God something i have to achieve in this holiday.. but too bad i lower my defence to temptations...

There was really quite a lot of complicate situations for me.. complicate feeling and though were hunting me.. hmm, well i guess all these happened and came to me were God's plan.. To bring me into higher level of maturity in Him..

I don't reli feel good when im in a long holiday in Miri and locked at home lol.. It turn worst when i follow the living way of flesh.. oh God.. plz let ur kingdom come to my family asap..

God, there is really tons of question in my head.. i m desperate for the resolution and answer.. i need u lord... i need u.. i don't want the dark night..

Sp. Dry

Hmm... I am dry today..
maybe because of fatigue..
Mayb because of i over depend on myself..
Things should not come out from me...
But Him..
I know i have to more alert in receive the eternal and long lasting, refreshing water..

God...I can't....by my own..
I want to see breakthrough in my life...
God.....