Response to "Courageous"

I came up with the resolution of "relationship improving" to people around me starting of June.

Well, i thank God for how He lead me incredibly in this aspect since the moment i made up my mind..

The other resolution is to be responsible to myself, especially in my study and future career as a teacher...

Hmm, well, im still capturing and welcoming any picture that God want to put in my mind regarding this matter.. 

Knowledge is vital, but without wisdom it is jz a weapon without a appropriate user..

The month i put lot of effort in study, until I am part blinded, this came to my mind..

I was acting like the machine, to receive formula and format..

I had forget the root purpose of my life, 

Him, the reason..

Thanks God, bro Nic (pastor of HIM Kota Bharu) preached about "Courageous" this topic last Fri and  i have just finish watch the movie "Courageous" (a Christianity movie) too..

I have my own understanding and gaining despite the movie which emphasizing on father' role..

However, i want to be a courage warrior..

Despite discouragement,

Despite doubts,

Despite disappointment...

I lose temper and emotion easily,

and when i do,

hehe, i have no idea what to do too lol..

anyway,

Thanks God for once again,

use the little time tonight,

to put something in my mind,

since i can hardly open out myself for Him lately..

Tiring

Oh my, what a harsh days i have currently..
Camping, senamrobik...

Instead of enjoy the camping at pulau, im actually dislike outdoor activity.In-charging of the 1M1S1M senamrobik can barely drive me crazy n discouraged.

Well, cooperation is hard to achieve if there is no understanding..
Yet, i always wonder why is it hard to gain understanding among people of different races..

I don't mean to blame..
I kept on blame on education we had in Malaysia.
Not only the system, but the way the children being brain washed directly or indirectly..

Haiz, victims of education..


However, thanks God i still gt my cg members, which are still supportive and cheerful, though not all the time lol...
I feel released after have my dinner with them..

Well, God,
let me continue to believe and grow with tons of questions in my mind..
LEt the answer come at Your right timing..

Be courage, Be strong

Well, im glad tat i scored well in my 1st sem of degree..
3.91 is a remarkable result, but i do greed for better...

Result come from Investment..
When i do wan a good result, proportionally i would have to put in certain effort and invest enough time..
but somehow tat don't lead me to happiness, just simply satisfy.

For me,
achieving good things don't give the best damn happiness,
but sticking to the life goals and objectives..

Well,
It is my 1st year of degree..
I jz got the fire ignited..

The image in front the mirror

It have been another semester.

Once again, I am now at home,
transform it to a place where i fang4 zong4 myself, to play games, enjoy and being selfish =.=...
I used to stand in front that mirror..  Flashback... Flashback.......ssss

 I set up my mind to contact more often with my cherry frens in the start of 2012.
Well, things went more challenging than I though.
The world can offer u so much choices, yet u can actually drown in the choices..
I managed to pick up the most important things..
HOWEVER, not those frens i cherish, not the time i am away for study..
Bcz i have my family there which need me to pour water, fertilize them.. Have missions there..

"Though we less contact and interact, but the bonding is still there and precious right?"
 That is what appeared in my mind everytime I think of my frensss..
Sometimes, when i lost to emotion, I think that i'm selfish, for not contact them..then only appear in front of them whenever i'm available...
Well, the truth is actually not right..

Hmm, follow the Jesus Christ, always put me in the situation of choice making..
Sometime, when the "self-orientation" pop out, i jz want to scold "DAMNNNNNIT #$%^^"
It seem like God is torturing me, but somehow i have to recognize that it is a process of moulding..

Now, when i look at the image, though still gt plenty of aspects that can be improve..
But i believe its inner strength is growing..
God is shaping him..

 Father, i pray so that u give him a heart to love You.. A heart that willing to surrender everything to You...

Identity building

Somehow, having "childhood development" as 1 of my subject give me significant input. Understanding how an identity and personality build up let me knowing more about myself.. It reminded me of my previous interest in psychology field... haha, no1 knows the future road, though men plan alot.. anyway, God, I know You are in control, observing me, guiding me in right track... Continue to shape me up.. To humble myself, love you better..

Numbness

A life, in the numbness of feeling...
Miserable..

Heavenly or Earthly..

I just baptised in 5.2.2012..
hmm, well I had been reborned since 2009 actually, after a fall in relationship XD..
which i can never forget...

hmm, feel discouraged lately,
the more i commit to God,
i am more agree that following Jesus is hard, damn hard..
For times i stil doubting,
*(well, earthly things keep distracting my focus and belief)
BUT! i don't doubt bout the salvation given to me..

Just, i spend too less time for God..
TOo much have to be drain out, but less intake i take..

God,
if this is the life You had designed for me..
Let me walk through it with You..
asap XD
lol!!!