Journey in Christ

Heavenly or Earthly..

2012-02-07T20:04:00.002+08:00

I just baptised in 5.2.2012..
hmm, well I had been reborned since 2009 actually, after a fall in relationship XD..
which i can never forget...

hmm, feel discouraged lately,
the more i commit to God,
i am more agree that following Jesus is hard, damn hard..
For times i stil doubting,
*(well, earthly things keep distracting my focus and belief)
BUT! i don't doubt bout the salvation given to me..

Just, i spend too less time for God..
TOo much have to be drain out, but less intake i take..

God,
if this is the life You had designed for me..
Let me walk through it with You..
asap XD
lol!!!

Just feeling blue once in a blue moon..

2012-02-02T00:19:00.005+08:00

Time x stay static at a point... Well now then we may realize changes is unavoidable..

Positive change, negative change.. it differ among everyone.. The same thing, may good for A, but actually bad for B. It relate to perspective too..

There are changes which mould me to a better one, also changes which broke me like no way out.. Individual hav to change, to adapt to the society, environment, reality.. Well this may seem discourage.. But it is just a feeling..

Hmm, i just too like to stay in past.. Mayb, i shall stop to live in the past somemore, even it is just yesterday..

Container

2012-01-25T23:45:00.006+08:00

I don't think i can perform well in elaborate "container" within 3 minutes by other time... However, by this time, i would like to have a try... To express what am i thinking about this container..

"Container is a non living thing which used to store things.. SO, each container may have different function alter by its size, shape and material... "

So, there is a question...
If i refer a container to a living organism, What would u understand about the living container by putting analogy above into this case?
----"...each container may have different function alter by its size, shape and material... "

I believe everyone have own special characteristic, though sometime ignore, blindfolded..
thats why every container is special..

A container can store your feeling, secret, privacy,
some better container can even share your problem..
But every container is different, hence not every container suit us..
Personally, sometimes i do face problem in owning a container(even jz for temporary) when back to hometown. Ya i believe most of the people may deal with this..
It is not easy to get a suitable container to put in those things u had prepare, store for so long...
But i thank God,
For He always be a faithful one to me..
Be my container as well..

God..
God.. God...

hmm, thank You for reminding me about container..
I had realize that myself should be a faithful container for You too..
All Your love, grace, words, just put them inside..
Teach me to be a faithful one..

Father,
i surrender myself..
For You to take over...
As a container of Yours...

First post in 2012

2012-01-22T08:31:00.002+08:00

Just have my first gathering with friends who i cherish a lot last night..
For sure not everyone may mix again as natural as past.. but thanks God there is friends who act as a good medium to link people up..

Well, still feel to say this again.. I don't really connect to these friends when i am away from Miri.. but i do still miss them haha.. lol...

Hmm, this is gonna be a short cny holiday for me.. i may not meet with all the people i wish to..but what to do? These are just part of life..

I just learn to go on by God'grace..

My voice...

2011-12-26T00:05:00.002+08:00

I just spent my time for a movie " What Would Jesus Do" instead of dota game which i usually play in this holiday..

hmm.. well, thanks God who touched my heart through the movie..It had been harden and blindfolded for long in this holiday...

Honestly, i promised to God something i have to achieve in this holiday.. but too bad i lower my defence to temptations...

There was really quite a lot of complicate situations for me.. complicate feeling and though were hunting me.. hmm, well i guess all these happened and came to me were God's plan.. To bring me into higher level of maturity in Him..

I don't reli feel good when im in a long holiday in Miri and locked at home lol.. It turn worst when i follow the living way of flesh.. oh God.. plz let ur kingdom come to my family asap..

God, there is really tons of question in my head.. i m desperate for the resolution and answer.. i need u lord... i need u.. i don't want the dark night..

Sp. Dry

2011-11-13T00:55:00.002+08:00

Hmm... I am dry today..
maybe because of fatigue..
Mayb because of i over depend on myself..
Things should not come out from me...
But Him..
I know i have to more alert in receive the eternal and long lasting, refreshing water..

God...I can't....by my own..
I want to see breakthrough in my life...
God.....

God loves you

2011-10-30T23:38:00.002+08:00

I am sorry Father God, for I always forgot about Your love..

Building of Faith

2011-10-20T09:25:00.002+08:00

Starting the end of August, after i made my decision to join the Bible Conference organized by Hope church as well as the "Persecuted Church Camp.. There were lot of up and down i gone through...rather to say it was my faith gone through up and down, i would say it was my semangat.. As faith given by God cant be taken by any1.. We cant let emotion and semangat pull the back leg of faith.. =') Too bad, my spirit influenced easily by things..

Honestly, i played dota often for these few weeks. So i would like to take dota as example. if this was a dota game, i believe i'll gain many experience point if i can overcome these up and down of spirit. I believe i am hitting a "Roshan" at low level.. thats the harsh monster..ya i cant do it myself But God is Mighty right? I may walk toward wounds, BUT the end of victory is a healing! Greater healing with Resurrection! Amen... I am stil hitting this high level monster.. God always want to build us, more like a pure Gold, which can endure to any challenges.

Once in July, i hurt my knee when playing basketball, with a clearly sound of "crap" heard.. It is not bone! but ligamen tear, I am having 80% ACL tear now..This injury do bring me quite a lot of problem.. it is not v pain, but unstable!

I am worry to further practise in volleyball,basketball and lot of more high demand sports which i may need to master as syllabus of my course. I turn nervous when i had came to the general hospital for scope. The 1st day b4 scope is still favourable for me as i can stay in 2nd class wad which gt aircond.. but it turn different when i myself have to being "bius". So nervous haha! Then it followed by a frustate when doctor told me ACL tear of 80%. I knew i hurt my ligament, but tat statement reli hurt for me.. That night i had a terrible time in inconvenience of movement, especially in go to toilet!!! MY knee felt pain after i move.. Thanks God painkiller was given by doctor...

Then i am given 2 weeks of mc.. Well i got alot of mc this sem.. Too much time to calm down.. But i didn't spend much time for God from that much much much of leisure time.. i did spent sometime on reading of spiritual book, think of the purpose of God behind all this thiings... well actually, what i had realize after these is my practical of faith is too weak.. i may know what should i do n what should i dont, but haiz.. i failed.. not bcz of God.. but jz because i didn't surrender all myself to Him, let Him incontrol of me.. I also realize how nice it is to have a simple but strong faith.. Just believe without much doubt.. But faith is something present with doubt and question, but still believe over the hope.. hmm, i want to be a people of strong faith in God.. used by God, to bring lives to Him...

My family helped me alot through comfort and support. but too bad i respond with my weakness of hot temper. i am sorry.. give me time to overcome this k? not by myself.. but understand Jesus more.. to love you all more too...

Recent update

2011-09-15T15:35:00.003+08:00

It have been a long time since my last post..
Thanks God I am motivated to express my situation here today..

More and more things happened around me..
It just like cars in KL, whereby you won't magnify each of them too much anymore, because it came to your life just as it is normal and part of your life..

It may not impossible to let reader understand the situations I were in, but the feelings of mine were far more complicate to let one understand...
Too bad it maybe harder for some of us here that have lost contact for long.. I have to apologise too for being newbie in this. But I am "growing" healthily.. No doubt, I believe you still can understand what I mean by "growing" here..

If I say I don't live for the world,
I hope you can know who am I living for...

If I die one day,
I hope you know perfectly where am I going...

It is not an easy task when you commit to Christ,
but you'll commit naturally when you know how real, how mighty is the God..

thanks God i am embedded in the grace... The grace which is actually a gift for every1 of us..

Maybe,
Jesus had been calling you in your life for times,
but you are too busy, eventually reject Him..
Today, I believe Jesus is still calling you..
I would like to encourage you to open your heart to Him..
Testimony this truth!
Amen...

得救？

2011-06-12T21:11:00.002+08:00

你若口里认耶稣为主，心里信上帝叫他从死里复活，就必得救。
Roman 10:9

这是圣经里的教导。
圣经：圣经都是上帝所默示的，于教训，督责，使人归正，教导人学义，都是有益的。（2 Timotis 3：15）

既然“圣经都是上帝所默示的”，我想我们都有必要去验证这到底是真是假。。若假的，就可救醒世上许许多多的基督徒，若真的，欢迎你来到神为你准备的救恩和国度。

愿圣灵时时刻刻引导你们。。 =D

Home!

2011-06-01T10:43:00.002+08:00

It is good to have home.
Besides my home at Miri, i miss my home at Hope KB and
i would like to visit my home in Heaven too XD....

“他们说，当信主耶稣，你和你一家都必得救。"
使徒行传16：31

i would still continue my prayer although my family don't realize and practise the God's love.

God ll help us,
never abandon us...
Thanks God
halleluyah~~ =D

A sharing about my growth in Christ :

2011-05-24T22:20:00.001+08:00

Sudah hampir satu tahun saya tinggalkan rumah saya dan menuntut pelajaran berjauhan dari tempat pelindung saya (rumah). Namun, saya tidak terasa merungut, sebaliknya saya ingin mengirim syukur kepada Tuhan. Sebab Dialah yang mendengar doa dan cinta anakNya, iman saya telah bertumbuh dan ingin saya kongsikan serba sikit perkara yang luar biasa di kehidupan saya setahun ini.
Chapter 1 : Kekalahan sementara

Dari june 2010 sehinggalah jan 2011, saya tidak berusaha sangat untuk menghadirkan diri di gereja kerana kekurangan azam untuk mengenal Tuhan lebih lagi, gereja yang terdekat memerlukan perjalanan satu jam dan kos tambang yang tinggi. Hanyalah antara Kristian di kampus saya kadang-kala ada “fellowship” dan “sharing”.

Chapter 2 : Pembukaan jalan oleh Tuhan

Situasi mendapat berkat daripada Tuhan pada permulaan bulan April. Tuhan telah mengaturkan pengangkutan secara percuma daripada pihak gereja di Kota Bharu. Pada masa itulah saya kerelaan pergi ke gereja disebabkan x perlu bayar kos tambang yang mahal.

Chapter 3 : Cubaan-cubaan dan cara mengatasi dengan bantuan Tuhan

a. Konflik dengan kawan sekelas
- diselesaikan dengan ambil initiatif minta maaf dulu walaupun bukan kesalahan saya semata-mata kerana saya mengikut ajaran firman Tuhan
ROMA 12:18 (ROMAN 12:18)
ROMA 14:19 (ROMAN 14:19)
ROMA 15:2 (ROMAN 15:2)
MATIUS 5:44 (MATTHEW 5:44)

b. Ketakutan kepada iblis dan hantu
- Saya minta pastor untuk doa untuk saya. Pastor itu minta saya berdoa selalu lalu beritahu saya satu janji Tuhan kepada anak-anaknya.
1 Yohanes 4:4 (1 john4:4)

Chapter 4 : Pertumbuhan Iman peringkat awal

Hasil daripada kerelaan bergantung kepada Tuhan dan menurut ajarannya, saya nampak apa yang Tuhan kurniakan lebih indah daripada yang saya inginkan. Kawan-kawan saya berbaik semula dengan saya dan saya tidak takut kepada iblis dengan kekuatan Tuhan. Ketenangan dan Kekuatan telah berada di hati saya dengan percaya dan bergantung kepada Tuhan.

Chapter 5 : Tuhan bercakap dengan saya ( melebihi kebetulan )

Lepas saya semakin percaya dengan Tuhan ini, saya pun galakkan diri untuk baca dan berfikir tentang firman Tuhan serta melaksanakannya. Lalu, contoh di bawah ialah peristiwa yang saya rasa Tuhan bercakap dengan saya.
a. terbaca firman tentang Ayub 1:21
- Saya terbaca firman ini pada pagi saya nak mendaki Gunung Tebu yang boleh dikatakan mencabar.

Firman ini bercerita tentang Ayub dulu yang setia kepada Tuhan, katakan segalanya ialah kurniaan Tuhan, dan segala juga Tuhan boleh alihkan daripada hidupnya. Masa itu, saya menyiapkan diri dan bersedia sekiranya saya mungkin cedera kah, ataupun ada malapetaka yang berlaku pada saya atau orang sekeliling.
HASILNYA, malapetaka kematiaan berlaku pada saudara kawan sekelas saya! Pada masa itu saya merendahkan diri di depan Tuhan yang betul-betul berkuasa ini.
Tuhan seolah-olah menunjukkan kekuasaan dan janjinya walaupun malapetaka bukan berlaku pada saya

b. terbaca firman tentang kisah para rasul 1:24
- Masa itu saya sedang rungsing untuk memilih 1 gereja antara 2. Pada ketika itu saya mendapati bahawa situasi saya sama dengan yang dicerita dalam firman Tuhan juga. Saya pun berdoa selalu supaya memberi tunjuk jalan seperti yang para rasul buat dahulu.
Tuhan seolah-olah bagi tahu saya Dia tahu situasi saya dan nak saya bawa perkara tersebut ke depan Dia dan berdoa

c. terbaca firman Tuhan tentang Matius 7:7
- masa saya berdoa untuk exam saya yang kurang persediaan dan banyak halangan untuk saya mendapat keputusan yang baik, saya baca firman Tuhan juga. SEKALI lagi, saya terbaca firman ini.
Tuhan seolah-olah bagi tahu saya dia janjikan apa yang saya doa tadi.

Chapter 6 : Penyelamat kepada keluarga saya
- Walaupun ada ahli keluarga saya yang belum menerima Tuhan atau dekat kepada Tuhan, namun dalam firman Tuhan kisah para rasul 16:31(Act 16:31), Tuhan menjanjikan keselamatan kepada sekeluarga sekiranya ada satu anggota yang percaya kepada Nya.
- Emak saya yang tidak pergi gereja sudah mula datang ke gereja sekarang. Dia meluahkan isi hatinya kepada saya bahawa dia ingin datang ke hadapan Tuhan dan menyanyi lagu “worship” apabila dia sedih dan rungsing. Saya nampak keinginan mak saya untuk balik kepada Tuhan. Puji Tuhan!!!!

CHAPTER INCOMING : WRITTEN BY GOD AND TO BE WITNESSED BY US
*Semua perkongsian saya di atas adalah secara ringkas atas kelupaan saya tentang perincian,namun perkongsian ini adalah benar dan berlaku pada kehidupan saya. Saya berharap perkongsian ini membantu memperkukuhkan iman adik-beradik dalam Jesus. Amen...

BY: LING JAI SENG (GBU)

Wonderful Weekend with God

2011-05-01T23:44:00.006+08:00

"For God there is nothing impossible."
I myself had experienced more about how God could work in our life..

The solution of conflicts, spreading of gospel in my family, the growth of faith, and lot of other blessings...

I don't think it is the luck who is working on these,
in fact i would like to glorify Lord for the peace He is giving to me through these Sweet and Sour dish..

With the connection by Amon, I manage to know the other frens in KB hope chuch. They are mostly Sarawakian. What made my adventure fantastic is i am the Chinese which is rare in their group.

We went for futsal, baptism, bbq during the weekend.
Thanks God for this exposure.
I felt warm and lovely...
They treated me with love which you ( God ) see it as a v v important element..

God, please teach me how to love as how You love Your creature..
Build me up!
let me be Your medium to spread the love too..
Please bless those frens in KB hope church too, God..
but don't follow my will, but Your will..
May your kingdom work wonderfully around us...
In the name of Yesus,
I pray, Amen

Argh!

2011-03-28T06:17:00.001+08:00

Haunted by unwanted thing!
Zzz

Happy birthday, Sin Wei

2011-03-23T23:25:00.003+08:00

Dear sin wei,

Happy birthday ya. haha, though u had left but we, chinese in ipg here stil oganised a simple birthday celebration for you.
Didn't have any birthday cake, but with birthday song, wishes, sincerity, i think u would be happy too if you could still b here...
Amos had made a slide show out of pics and wishes from us for you. When the girls are watching on the slide show, i saw some of them get wet in their eyes, some of them hung a smile on their face but i felt the sorrow. Anyway, i believe you don't wish us to be desperate for times, yet i believe you would feel sad to see them to hung a fake smile. But don't worry, they would grow somehow,they would be strong 1 day, though take time...
Sin Wei,
I did edit the lyric of a song for you.. I sang for you with the accompany of guitar's plucking by Louis. We tried for almost 2 hours for it.. Sry ya i don't have a good sound and singing skill. I hope you like it anyway.
Louis and Amos them called me "长老" just now. Then only i realized i am the eldest chinese among this batch now. You, me and Louis are 91's in this batch, yet you and me always dislike being the eldest. But then i reli wished to help all of them jz now. I mean understand their situation and help. But i understand that it is not a must too. They could have their own trustful friends to share with. Well, I would pray for them, help them whenever i could. So, don't worry la.
Thank you for the present in our memory, thank you for letting us have such chance to grow. Happy birthday to you...

纪念 3月10号

2011-03-16T22:23:00.002+08:00

假日已开始了五天左右，
同样那悲剧也过了五天左右。。。

Iniyan ( my previous roommate )
Joseph ( my neighbour )
Goh Shu Yin ( my tough chinese friend )
Alexis Goh Sin Wei ( my cheerful chinese friend )

放假的星期四下午，
就在我和朋友玩乐时，
突然接到一个无望的消息，Sin Wei and Iniyan 在车祸中当场身亡。
那个晚上又接着收到Joseph and Shu yin 相继过世的消息。。。。。。

说实话，
我并不"显得"很难过，
心理上是有影响,
可我想表达上是有差别吧。。。

生命，
短暂，
最糟糕的是，
如果我们都活错了生命，目的。。。

我选择在沉淀了几天后才写出自己的心情，
是希望观察自己真实，隐藏的心情。

结果，
发现自己还不懂得珍惜。
觉悟也不过维持那几天罢了。。
HMM，
主啊，
恳求你眷顾我。。。

这个假期
我在SIVA的家度过，
他们一家人，
好热闹哦。。。
也体验了很多东西。

他的妈妈煮得一手好菜，
华人，马来人，印度人的餐点，
都难不倒她。
拥有可平静心灵的和蔼，慈祥。。。

他的爸爸，
待人厚道，
也让人有人安全感。。。

他的弟弟和妹妹，
都很开朗，有自信。。。

有时会感触，
觉得他们对自己都好真哦。
反看自己，
不知想要隐藏什么似的。。。

HMM，
恐惧,像是笼子；
自卑，像是大石；
靠自己，我没信心面对，
惟有靠神，给我明确的生命意义，
我才有那勇气，
去作一番。。。

主啊，
离了你，
我还能作什么？
啊门。。。。。。

冰冻的城堡

2011-03-06T23:37:00.003+08:00

失控，
陷入低潮，
冰冷的气流漂流在血液中，
却无法平静那烦燥。。。

脆弱的冰，
脆弱的心。。。

多少个夜晚，
已成了平静自己的粉丝。。

多少个星星，
看着我以睡眠来逃避事实。。。

主啊，
求祢赐我安慰，
抓紧我。。。。。。。。

Happy birthday da ge!

2011-03-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

To jai zing :
Life isn't easy, but you had accompany me all the time..
Life isn't long, yet thanks God we can be sibling..
God bless ya..

Stretched mind

2011-03-01T17:45:00.003+08:00

Lot of things to endure lately...
Yet my rational thinking and self control don't stand a chance to rest...

If i had give up on God,
i would already lose myself..

Am i so special? If so why do i am afraid to be and admit it?

2011-02-14T15:18:00.002+08:00

For God there is no coincidence,
I went for a counseling session just now.
It was a group counseling whereby there are 5 of us ( PJ coursemate )

The process and procedure are not much different as i can guess.
However, what gained my attention was the session to draw out your own strength and fitness..

*No leakage of the others's drawing of strengths and weaknesses would be made"

I was the 1st 1 to introduce my own strengths and weaknesses.
To be honest, i don't view myself as a person with much strength but more weaknesses.

In the drawing which i draw without much consideration and doubt,
i draw a cross with a heart, as well as some minor explanation..

I do,
I do believe that the relationship with God is everything.
I believe all my strengths and weaknesses are from God,
morever, for all of these are useless if i don't contribute it in the way God prefer it to be..

So,i didn't describe clearly my strengths and weaknesses in my drawing, but a cross with heart..

Which reflect my mind that,
I am nothing without God..
yet i can't do anything..
The anything i can do also would be nothing lastly..

I really be honest to myself in that time..

But i reli wonder again once i saw the others' drawing and heard the others' explanation..

They have much different opinion..

I have to admit 1 of my weakness here too.
I take time to accept the others as well as the things i dislike or disagree.

I can't conclude much for them..
I believe God have His own plan for me..

I pray for my growth,
please bless me to hav a close relationship with You, God..
I pray for my future,
If You agree to let me become a counsellor or hav the counsellor's skill to serve the people, please bless me and help me, lead me to the way..
I pray for those couples and singles today,
so that they could back to you.
Pray that less people commit suicide due to Breakage of Love..
In the name of Jesus, Amen..

Not more than words, yet not 1 could understand easily

2011-02-12T09:51:00.002+08:00

I am now doing the thing i didn't do for months,
which is having my flashback with the sentimental song surround my mind...
>< I don't like to immerse myself in a blue, but i found that the feelings in the songs could understand me actually..

I am not special,
but sometime i am wonder whenever i seem like so "special"..

I knew i did the right things sometimes,
but sometime it was not in the eyes of others..

I knew the complex spiritual problem which can makes me down most severely,
but sometime it was not easy to have others understand why i am like this......

Silence,
is hard to understand, but not hard to notice

Words,
is not hard to notice, but hard to understand

I used to back to God for His greatest love, care and comfort,
but i have fall lately..
i have fall lately..

农历新年

2011-02-02T17:25:00.002+08:00

很幸运的，
上帝给了我这个机会回来美里庆祝新年。

其实，
我并不在乎有否庆祝，
只是家人是我最大考量的因素。

在机票上就花费RM1000左右，
并不是我向往的作风。。。

或许，
我可以用这笔钱，
去 EXPLORE 西马，
去捐款，
去买些会帮助我在外生活的用品。。。

花费在机票上，
心也会淌着血的 TT 。。。

在家里也没帮上什么忙，
就做些自己的事情。。。

在乎什么，
执着什么，
有时真搞不懂。。。

离了祢，
我还能做什么。。。

主阿，
恳求祢怜悯我，
教我懂的了解与施行爱。。。

没有祢，
没有爱，
没有意义。。。

新年又怎么快乐呢？

Hidden feeling

2011-01-14T00:09:00.002+08:00

I myself doubt my love to my family..

I myself aiming for things but not for family..

I myself know i owe them a lot..

But

I myself didn't practise to love them..

I myself didn't spend much time to think for them here..

I myself didn't care about what happen at home when i am away..

I myself don't bother if i lose contact with family!!!

Sharing need practise..
While it has been a long time i didn't share through blog..
Things really come by groups,
somehow i can't share every single 1 here too...

My God,
thank you for let me still have this little bit of guilty and knowing that i m a bad son..
please lead me to the path i should...
if i really don't appreciate things and people around,
please let me go through lessons,
and if endanger in death could help,
please ready myself for it too..
Amen..

第八届绿洲毕业营 21-23/12/2010

2010-12-23T20:52:00.006+08:00

在美里的这段假期里,
我原本是觉得毫无生气的,
一想到假期的短暂和太多想完成的事就显得忧虑.
现在回想就满滑稽的,
我还那么年青,
却比上年纪的长辈还怕有未了的心愿...

感谢绿洲的开放,
我可以在这第八届的毕业营里当义工.
事实上,我并没尽力与本分去做,
甚至还有想忙里偷闲的念头.

这次持有义工的身分参加营会,我仍旧获益不浅
我在另一个层面体会到所谓"热忱的义工"并不是个想帮助人的念头罢了就可以做到的,
而需要生命的感染.

认识了不少的人,
也从他们身上学到不少,
大家彼此分享,
坦然以对,
自己也很享受在这个家庭中...

营会的内容,
也仍然可勾起去年身为参加者的回忆与领悟,
自己在从新审察自己的当儿,
也发现了自己在到外读书后的奇妙改变...

我很向往这样的营会及生活,
三天的时间虽不长,
我却觉得好有意义.

明年,
我还要当义工,
学习如何做得更好!

为义工的学习路程祷告! =D

*与16位参加者的大合照*

归属

2010-11-26T19:44:00.005+08:00

离开了5个月,
终于回到了美里...
这还是我第一次能独自离家生活,

5个月...
其实可以有很多改变..
我真的很感谢神,
让我渐渐与师训的朋友变得更亲密.
事实上,
我是个爱钻牛角尖的人,
可是至少那儿的朋友都很亲切的接受,
我很开心,
特别是在槟城之旅,
甚至是各自回家时,
心里是满满的不舍...

在飞机里,
我其实很矛盾,
我开始在思考到底哪里是我的归属,
我对答案并没那么有信心...

是semenanjung Malaysia?是美里?
我很容易受影响,
哪里需要且重视我,那里就有可能是个归属...

现在,
只希望我能够定睛在神的身上,
依着活着的目的,
有意义的活着,
活出神喜悦的生活....
至少,神是我们的归属...

The end of the First sem in IPG..

2010-11-15T07:29:00.002+08:00

After few more hours,
i would have to move into the big hall for the last exam paper,
which i could tell that i didn't prepare for it.
It is because the covered topics are too wide, and yet i don't know what is it about lol!!
Hopefully can pass XD...

I ran from a COMPULSORY "gathering" in my hostel.
It start at 2 am and suppose it won't end within 2 hours.
I escape..
Due to some reasons,
i ran...

I would move to penang for a trip after tomorrow.
I am wonder about it. =D
I do miss Miri too, but somehow need time to adapt back if i back Miri..
I need sometime to ignore those gaps i ever have.

Friend's gathering is coming soon huh..=D
Miss Kevin, Choon Man, Rong Cheng, Duan Xun Friends, Church, Lv Zhou, and more...
haha but i know i cant over expect for everythings...
I have to learn to appreciate first..

Thanks God,
it is the end of 1st sem v v v soon.
Please lead me for the rest of my life too..
Amen..

Wake up wake up! Take your right move!!

2010-11-05T00:29:00.002+08:00

I am getting further away from my right track..
I should follow the road shown by the God, but i didn't.

I was too focusing on those targets i wish to achieve and problems it seem to me.
I almost live for this world..

Pray!
Pray Pray!
PRAY PRAY PRAY!!

brothers and sisters in Christ,
hope u do pray for me as well if u see this post..

i don't want to live for own only,
i could make bigger contribution for God..
i need strength

智慧

2010-10-07T09:09:00.002+08:00

几经折腾,
终于能走出生病的痛楚了.
痛的不是那躯壳,是脆弱的玻璃..
一个星期,真的很长,很长...

其实,
我真的很想放纵情绪,
像小孩那样面对事情,
可是,
免了...
我负不起那责任...
还是为大局着想吧...

现在回想,
真的没想到我已经挨过了..
感谢主...

我不喜欢被质疑,
因为那样我也会质疑自己,
我不喜欢被讨厌,
因为那样我也会讨厌自己...
我了解为何会如此,
看到目前的瓶颈,
只能一直给自己乐观的鼓励.

人会成长的,
我相信...

在处理情绪和无奈时,
我需要更多的智慧..
更多...
更多...

从神而来的智慧...
来面对人的无知...

好彷徨,
希望我是朝着对的方向走...

Guitar

2010-09-19T17:19:00.004+08:00

This is the 1st guitar i had in my life..
Hopefully i would learn with passion and make full use of it..
To honour the God..
Bring joy, peace, love...=D

愿意依靠祢

2010-09-15T15:09:00.002+08:00

这,是一个久违的见证,
烦闷的心情,
在奇妙的午后,
溶解了...

我好喜欢这本<辅导心理学>,
神似乎都一直透过当中的教导对我说话.

"许多个人问题的产生, 是因为人未能让基督作自己思想及行为的主宰,也不晓得那真正追求神的人有用不尽的力量资源!"

我坐在无人的花园中,
闭目祷告,
希望神能充满我,
让我继续成为他喜悦的仆人...

[7 你们祈求,就给你们; 寻找,就寻见; 叩门,就给你们开门.
8 因为凡祈求的,就得着; 寻找的, 就寻见; 叩门的, 就给他开门.
9 你们中间谁有儿子求饼, 反给他石头呢?
10 求鱼, 反给他蛇呢?
11 你们虽然不好, 尚且知道拿好东西给儿女, 何况你们在天上的父,岂不更把好东西给求他的人吗? ]
马太福音 7 章 7- 11 节

神是那允许的父,
他让我醒悟,
有许多得着...

我回忆起过往灵魂被拯救的事故,
真是奇妙!
神透过辅导者,
让人得拯救,重生,长进...

看见自己的改变,
我知道当中都是神的带领..

我希望能继续为神做美好的见证,
人都拥有软弱,
我知道藉着天上的父,
一切都有可能...
现在的我,
虽还是个无法成大局的人,
但只要上帝愿意用我,
而我也愿让上帝塑造,
奇迹不是妄想.

这几个月以来,
我频频跌倒,
愿慈爱的天父,
时时保守我,
不陷在罪中...

Turning phase

2010-09-14T20:54:00.002+08:00

I am wondering,
how long could i still assume i am a teenager. =X

Not long right?
But i had to learn to love and enjoy life too..
An adult can also live happily right?

Sometimes,
i m feeling stress while on my way learn to b a teacher,
i have to learn to act as an adult do before that.
Do you ever seem a teacher act immature as a teenager?

hmm...
Be tough man!
whatsup whatsup..!
The skies are there waiting for you to reach high!
ush~
Lets cherish and make your rest of adolescence be a cool 1! =D

Maybe it is true

2010-09-13T23:58:00.002+08:00

I guess i know why i am quite upset now..

Feeling useless or sad cause can't help those who u wish to help right? Jai Seng..

haiz...
take it easy.. take it easy...
though it may uneasy for you...

=X

A weird feeling

2010-09-13T23:37:00.002+08:00

Feeling confuse,
feeling weird...

The feelings jump out of a sudden.
Feel like there are really too much things to learn..

*To help, it depend on situation...
To help, we don't simply help everyone...
to help, think of who we are first...*

Those question jump out of my mind suddenly..
I wonder,
who can i help?
how should i help?
who am i to help?
......

I am on the way exploring of the definition of "HELP".
Tonight,
i get lost...
I would rest first,
start my journey again soon.

*The happiest people don't neccessarily have the best of everything,
they just make the best of everything they have..*

I read the quote above on the wall of others on FB,
it is so meaaningful.

and yet i m trying to apply it to my feeling now..
jia you !

珍贵的回忆

2010-09-12T13:15:00.000+08:00

借宿了三天,
今天终于回到了这间四四方方的IPG.

第一次到穆斯林的家做客,
一起准备,庆祝..
起初还担心害怕有些沟通上的障碍,
最终却相处的不在话下..

过程,
是珍贵的.

很庆幸,
很开心.

很想与人分享,
回忆..

临别时,
我看见了一个小女孩的不舍,
她,
是那么的单纯,
那么的在乎与珍惜,
这看似简单的三天..

谢谢你,
你的眼神,
就是那说不完的故事......

A wonderful dream

2010-09-09T07:43:00.002+08:00

Things happen around are so warm though may imperfect in certain aspect,
I am so serious about it and cherish whatever as I can.
It was a sweet moment in Miri..

I know it was a dream when i had woke up..
i am not desperate once i know it was only a dream..
I appreciate it cz i have even a dream like this..

At least,
i ever went back to Miri last night.....

=}

如果没有金钱负担..

2010-09-08T21:15:00.002+08:00

今天是假期的第五天......
我想,
我似乎需要加强我逞强的能力了..

真的,
有些受到惊吓了..

我妄想,
如果我是蛮富裕的人,
现在的我,
会在客厅里陪妈妈看电视,
会因为她的唠叨而学习了解并知足..
并不会在这里...
痴痴的幻想...

知道自己不能一直懦弱!
总不能一直待在避风港..
唉...可是...
....我.....

如果成长是那么的刻骨铭心,
这一刻,
我真的好害怕成长..
没有人知道,
乌云何时会逝..
只有等待.. 期待.. 深深的无奈...

我又好希望,
能找人分享,分析,讨论
我生命中的每个好与坏..
可是该死的自尊心与孤敖,
总是能拒人与千里,
有时候,
真不知自己在坚持什么,
也不知道自己为了什么而坚持...

情绪缓缓超越坚强的面具,
我需要更有信心的面对生活..
需要一些陪伴与鼓励...
更需要学习..
独自的面对..
自给自足.......

乡

2010-09-06T00:23:00.002+08:00

如今,
离乡升学,
我也几乎与美里的一切断离联络..

面对拥有血缘关系的家人,
有时,
真会不知所措,
如今就像是一家人的鱼儿,
却活在不一样的鱼缸.

自从换了鱼缸,
我知道一昧眷恋着过往的环境不能让我在现有的环境成长,
然而,
我仍会胆却,
我对于自己保持联络与关心的能力豪无信心.
我看见自己在这方面的忽略.
我好希望我是个贴心的家人,
好希望我能很自然的爱我的家人..
好希望,
电话的另一端,
和我这一端,
是满满的爱...

2 weeks of Raya break from today

2010-09-02T08:40:00.002+08:00

It is holiday!
Too bad it is not my time to back..
I will be staying here with 3 others Sarawakian in this "huge" but silent IPG soon.

No cafe open for sell food in this holiday~
No entertainment~
No gathering with family~
No gathering with those who are always friends~
No shelter for me to rest~

God, please lead me to go through it.

God, please let me meet your love

2010-08-29T23:31:00.002+08:00

I want to experience Your love more...
More than everything...

=X

2010-08-22T17:58:00.002+08:00

Whenever i am down,
whenever i am afraid to disturb others or don't know who to share with,
I appreciate this blog so much.

Changing ownself is easier than changing others =D,
hopefully my changes are good 1.
It may not accepted by others,
as long as it accepted by God,
it would be more than enough.

Today pray list - Pray for those who have been forgotten or ignored.. =D
God love you no matter how others look at you

Thanks God For the Arrangement You made

2010-08-19T21:57:00.003+08:00

Life in IPGKSM here isnt easy and there are lot of things for me to learn..
I was not in good mood and in stress which had influence my daily life lately..

But Thanks God!
i just have a sharing session with a Christian here.
He is non chinese, but i reli appreciate God for the arrangement of tonight.

God, plz continue to be my lord in my life.
Please give me wisdom and let the holy spirit always with me..
May what i do i can put You in the 1st priority.
May i come to You more often, even in every minutes i can remember of Your present in my life..

God, thank You for the "church" u had arrange for me tonight..
I love You

FAKING?!

2010-08-11T23:54:00.002+08:00

I don't know how am i recently.
I can tell you i'm fine,
I can tell you i am stil adapting,
But i cant tell you whether i am honest in my answer or not.

Sometime i used to confuse about my own feeling.
maybe i had been get use to think in a complicate way,
maybe i had been get use to psycho myself too much.

I can be know nothing while i am sad in my deep heart.
Well, i believe my feeling is hidden.
Mrs Christina from Miri church called me jz nw and we have a short chat,
i merely had my homesick lost control.

Haha..

I can't be a weak person,
I don't want to be a weak person.
sometimes I just have to psycho myself to become a "strong" person.
Well, i duno whether it work o not,
mayb it is,
for temporally.

I would stil living in this way,
until i found a better way..

=[

An awesome TESL Night

2010-08-07T08:49:00.000+08:00

TESL = Teaching English as Second Language

It was a dinner until 12 am =.=..
I had become the amcee of whole the ceremony..
Well, it is a good experience, but more to tiring XD..

I am glad to have bunch of frens here.
Our relationship may not too good yet
but i ll learn to put in effort in it...

Kinda miss Miri sometime lo,
but what to do,
I can't controlled by my emotion..
jia you Jai!!

I had tonnes of feeling

2010-07-30T22:13:00.002+08:00

I spent my time from 1pm-7.30pm to play badminton and volleyball.
I had pushed myself too much and cause fatigue.

I am a normal person but want to be bit special at least to some1, that is myself.
I am a stupid person that ll over push myself.
I am a stubborn person who want to win and good in everything..

i feel tire,
Thanks God i m not mentally tire yet, perhaps soon.
I really want to join the worship!
I merely survive by my own weak will.

I admit that i had lack of confidence.
Thats why i always set myself a high expectation.
I want to improve more n more n faster n faster.

I had something bothering me actually.
But, i found that i don't have much wisdom while dealing with it..
Haiz..

God....
God.......

God, plz let me hold Your hands

2010-07-28T18:57:00.001+08:00

I wish to lie in Your arms.
I wish i could get closer to You.
I know there is no1,
understand n love me more than You do..

Thanks for giving me the ability to worry.
I am worry if i had loosen Your hands,
I know that i am not strong and tough.
I know that You had keep giving what i need.

Please open up my eyes,
so that i can see clearly where am i.
So that i can walk to Your side...

I need strengths to contribute more as well as keep myself in suitable situation..

God,
I need you..

Latest report

2010-07-27T23:44:00.003+08:00

I am fine in IPGKSM.
Whenever i define myself as fine i really do trying to let most of the things to be fine..

I believe i had grown up more here..
I learn alot from others..
I am now facng different challenges now.

The most troublesome matter is i could not make out any solution to go for church.
God, plz lead me to the wisdom,
lead me to You...

难过的一天

2010-07-24T17:18:00.002+08:00

我来到了漂亮的沙滩,
回头一看,
脚印都被海浪洗涤,
我不禁回想过去,
发生过的忧伤却是个抹不去的事实,
我就这样度过一个挣扎的下午...

寻找出口..

2010-07-22T23:55:00.003+08:00

人可以朝夕相处却无言以对,
心可以朝思暮想却无能为力,

但无论情绪如何,
分享与分担是无可厚非的.

但是,
尽管感情不错,
总会有说不出口的事与时候..

What had i missing?

2010-07-16T22:51:00.003+08:00

Sad to admit that,
I feel like i had a bad quality of life recently.

Despite the physical health,
i am more concern about my mental health and status of my soul.
However, i really feel very bad.
I discover that i had less time and efforts to enrich my soul.
I damn dislike it.

I just had some leisure time to read the counselling book i brought to here today.
I can merely had myself comforted.

Counselling is not an easy task,
It is definitely not easy to become a Counsellor too.
The target of counsellor is so so far away from me now.
Not because of the counselling skills n knowledge i lack of,
but the good qualities of a counsellor.
Disappoint

Bad Temper

2010-07-14T18:13:00.002+08:00

I am feeling guilty and quite complicate now.
I chat to my little bro in message just now when i was sick,
and i used the improper tone ONCE AGAIN when my family members are trying to care bout me by questions.

I hate this action of mine,
and i don't understand why.
Is it i don't know they care me?
Or i don't like them to care me?
I feel sorry.

MY feeling toward Life in IPG here is hard to describe by words.
I just had to move forward.
I don't know wat can i hold in my hands,
but i know what can i contribute if i continue to move forward..

My God,
please give me the passion i need,
I am afraid if my view is fully belong to this world.
Let me had a closer relationship with You..

却步的钢铁

2010-07-06T21:05:00.002+08:00

有时软弱,有时刚强,
是人的天性.

在这被灌上"伟大教育者的出产工厂"里,
我,
似乎不愿有软弱的想法.
我,
就是为了培养毅力而来的,

能否对教育付出热忱,
我不知道.
是否挨得过?
这不是个问题,而是需要被操纵的过程.

教育的盲点多不剩数,
人,毕竟是会犯罪的人.
我只希望,
对辅导的热忱在往后能积极发展,
在神喜悦的情形下,
在现实社会的许可下,
一滴一滴挥洒汗水.

Good bye to the Comfort Zone as well as Memory zone

2010-06-26T22:58:00.002+08:00

Time is something special and incredible which human can always lose to him..
i believe, God is the 1 who cr8 the time and make the law of universe.

And now, i had to move myself to face the challenges and another stage of life.
I realize tat i was learning as well as discovering more n more in this period.
Thanks to those who encouraging me in my life.
Thanks for those gathering we had too.
Thanks God to let me had such memorable time..

I do still walk around my weaknesses,
there are still lot of things i can not handle well,
but indeed,
i had always forget tat how much blessing i had in my life..

Lastly,
i still could not say out wat are deep inside my heart yet..
i ll keep it in my heart temporary be4 i could found a way out..
ush..

My lord,
plz hold me tight in Your road..
Amen..

Ish..

2010-06-24T21:14:00.001+08:00

I am bad temper, bla bla bla..

Define "TIME" as a speedy racer

2010-06-17T10:01:00.002+08:00

At the 1st moment i was thinking of what to post up here, i was already left behind of time. Now, time is running faster and faster while i am typing.... with my slow pace and heavy mood.

How come i never being alert of my competition with time all this while since i born?
Nonsense question..
It is just because i didn't do what should i do at most of the moment.
So now, Past had past massively, left me gasping behind..

Whenever i am preparing stuff for my leaving and registration over Trg, i hardly had time to prepare for this coming dismissal. I hardly to prepare myself for the time over there..

I just asked my dad for get our family a full family photo within tis 2 weeks.
However, it fail..
It is not v possible for dad to take further leave to stay in Miri and take the full family photo that i had been wanted for so long..

hmm... hopefully we have a chance for that in futur.. >.<

Ready, Go! Terengganu..

2010-06-15T22:15:00.002+08:00

Latest update:

I have been chosen as a student for maktab (institut pendidikan guru).
I have to go Terengganu for it.
It takes 5 and 1/2 year to finish the degree.
It is the 1st time for me to go out from sarawak lol..
kampung kia.. zzz

Well, my emotion are not in good condition recently..
i m still trying to control it.. zz i am a sentimental person actually..
i used to roar at my family recently..
perhaps feeling quite stress too.
reli bu she de a lot of things n person..
haiz, jia you ya jaiseng..

hold God tightly,
HE ll lead you de..
frens, plz remind me n wake me up whenever i forgot the Mighty God...

Who should i concern for? Which stuff should i give my passion in?

2010-05-29T23:02:00.002+08:00

My life in f6 had start since 3 weeks ago.
It is not a long period,
i can hardly differentiate yesterday, today or even tomorrow since i could see the time is running out everyday.
I am not here to describe how busy or how hard it is a f6 life for me..
But i would like to say, it may consider as a life which is "half-blind" for me..

Well, i had to balance myself from time to time to prevent myself from getting lost.
A person who step in the trap of emo now may having difficulties to retake his or her courage and confidence. I am the 1 who is half drowning 1..

When i was paying my concern in the academic,
i found tat i used to concern about myself only.
Mayb it is my limit for now,
or mayb i used to act like a selfish 1 when i have to work hard to catch up the study. I really duno the reason, what i know is i have to break through this limit.

I found tat my passion had change eventually. I used to pay more passion in "snaking/resting" or "study" recently. I can sense the passion of mine to help others become weaker from day to day.. I'm quite afraid. I don't want to own by these kind of stuff.

No matter what happen, i have to take care of my health n emotion nicely for now..
Cause this 2 matter might influence One's feeling..I can't give up.. Life is a process for learning too, i hope i can had more better changes with God's leading..

I had been away n away from God..
Thats gonna make me down..
I reli wish i m wishing to glorify the Lord when i m helping others but not for own pride..

面对 "却步 vs 停留"

2010-05-21T17:17:00.007+08:00

在一生中,
我们往往会面临挫折.

而在这过程中,
人会有情绪,
时有哀愁,
时有隐瞒.

我们却对这世界有错误的观念,
认为生活可以一帆风顺,
而上帝却没如此承诺.

若是能把自我关心,
扩大至关心更多有需要的人,
你将会发现,
自己想要的条件是奢侈.

活着,
我们有时会却步,
而最让人畏惧的是,
从此停留在那阶段,
走不出自己的阴霾与执着,
也看不见自己的盲点,
更找不到人来帮助自己..

人,
应要有健康的互动..
关心你忽略的人,
给他丰富的泉水,
只要用心,
你也可以...

For :
失望,绝望,无望的人,
尽管情况很糟糕,也会有转机的,
就在人类的视线极限 -- 盲点
转换一个思考模式,
或许你就看得到之前看不到的路... =)

愿神再次让你看见他奇妙的恩典,
洗净你蒙蔽的双眼..

How should i describe it?

2010-05-19T22:40:00.003+08:00

The moment i am studying,
i am feeling good although have to finish lot of homework and prepartion..

HOWEVER,
i really less emphasize and hardly can concern on other things now..

I even less concern on other person and help them now...!

I feel quite desperate..

SAVE me God..

Different taste of love and care

2010-05-16T21:59:00.002+08:00

Mum had back to Bintangor to visit grandma which is now in other space..
while Dad is now a part time housewife wahahaha..
I m so like to spend my time with dad like this,
though nothing special actually =.=..
But the moment he is at this home let me feel warm..
Maybe we reli don't practising much love expression at home..
But i do care you all..

I am sorry cause i didn't been mature enough in my secondary school life.
however, i will and i believe i m improving..

Now i realize the important of study lol!!
thanks God..

2010-05-13T05:13:00.002+08:00

I had just wake up from a sweet dream.
It is most probably only a dream but hardly become a reality.
I am quite sure about it when i am comparing that dream with the situation i am having now..

Well,
i had chose not to feel disappoint about it,
despite,
i m glad that i can experience the sweet moment once in my dream.. =)

I am putting effort to had myself change my view of thinking when i am desperate.
Being tough is not a simple task by myself,
perhaps God lead me so well..

To some1 who is having a miserable period in his/her life now,
all i wish to say is,
Life is never a smooth path,
It need lots of elements to overcome those hard moment too..

I am willing to listen and accompany you through the moment
as long as you are willing to seek for help..

*I used to lock myself in own view and world too when i m facing troublesome matter before. It is not easy for 1 to go through these by own, especially human had the habit to magnify things especially the problems..

Love is the best element in recovery uses..
Don't ever forget to love yourself and the others though you are troubled.

I am praying for you,
my dear friend..

Form 6 starting..

2010-05-11T22:10:00.002+08:00

Well,
I am having my further study in ch f6 which can only offer me sc stream for now..
I had get ready myself for any possible or even impossible situation before this..
*Glad that i had a long holiday before - 5 months..

I had prepare myself for fail or don't wish to transfer to art stream anymore due to the matter of time..the transferring progress may take months..anyway, I am trying to do better by working hard to study the subjects of sc stream at the same time i ll concentrate more on PA paper which is also compulsory subject for art student..

Well,
it is jz the second day after the class started,
i feel like losing stamina oled..
I am not calling it as tire or exhausting cz i understand that my situation is not the worst yet..
I pray often for this..
God ll accompany me, it is a fact..
cz He is the lovely God..

I may spend less time on more sharing of mine now onwards, though i always wish i could share more..
However, i'll still improve myself from time to time, to be a better man,
who can contribute to u,u,u,u... in future....

I used to learn n experience more everyday through some little "counselling" session may be between me n frens in the interaction..
Well, the conclusion i get may dun have those supportive scientific approval,
but i m glad for trying..

Take care ya, blog readers..
God bless..

Wanderer

2010-05-08T00:03:00.003+08:00

IF i would asked to describe my feeling in my growth,
i would compare it with the feeling of a wanderer...

No point to ask others to understand me seem i know it is hard..

No point to join the others just because i am lonely but never alone..

No point to explain since it is not easy to understand a though of wanderer..

No point to influence by those who live out a so-called "meaningful" life..

No point to "bullshitting" with those who are "blindfolded"..

Last but not least,
It is hardly to realize the presence of a wanderer...

Opps..

2010-05-07T23:08:00.001+08:00

Opps..
Doesn't feel good now..
Take care yea jaiseng!

Hmmm...
suddenly feel sympathy with those victim of cancer today..
Lord, plz guide me and lead my way..
Equip me with the strength i should have, to help those who in need..
I have to admit that i am a selfish person and sometime kinda "cold-blood",
i really don't know how could i understand my love better,
but i know You will lead me..

唯美的回忆 =)

2010-05-07T06:19:00.004+08:00

去年的今天，
是个很特别的日子，
是个无可取代的甜美。。

去年的我，
却思绪迷乱难懂像幅抽象画，
只搞懂年少的苦涩。。

对于幸福以为不远，
它却是昙花一现。。

咖啡的香浓固然有限，
正如人的情感表达也是如此，

当初，
你的确替我的咖啡加了砂糖。。

今年的今天，
我喝了杯 coffee，
甜美的甘苦中我似乎体会到幸福的另一滋味。。

今年的我，
努力过的很好，
你呢？

# =) #

灵魂栖息处

2010-04-28T22:23:00.002+08:00

离乡之子，或迷失的羊儿，
可别忘了，
当初赐予你独特生命的那一位。

“他”是永恒的那一位，
守承诺的那一位。

我绝不撇下你，也不离开你。【希伯来书 13： 5 】

一句话，
一个人却有可能需花上一生的时间在怀疑，也无法倘然接受。

然而，
“他”是信实的.

曾几何时，
你回归到灵魂深处？

避开世间五花八门的诱惑吧！
总有那一片青草地，
等着你栖息。。
＝D。。。

Case of mine, you could view and judge it in own way..

2010-04-26T14:25:00.007+08:00

It is a hot noon..
I am still locked in this "square box"..
well, it is ok,
it is not the worst,

Appreciate every bad moment of yours,
Cause you will face with better 1!

I had once undergo a tougher moment at home during mid term holiday in last year,
l was limited in this "square box" as well..
Staying in a limited space for a long period could kill 1!
The temperature of that holiday was high too..
I was locked in a "hot pot"
I was once wanna commit suicide for times..
I told some person who use to b v close to me,
but there were non of them manage to giv me a rope to save me out..
I am holding the will of commit suicide for days..
There are no other things scary than that until now..
I am damn depressed..
Damn helpless..
I have forgot how i go through that moment,
but i have to say,
glad that i still can have my sharing here..

There is another case or i can say is a risky joke..
When i was still a probationary prefect in F4,
i use to carry out my duty around the school gate.
I saw a senior student that is more likely an offender.
I went to him and "advise" him to tuck in his shirt,
when i looked on his nametag,
i huai2 yi2 he use the nametag of others,
so i requested to check his bag to prove his identity..
HE REFUSE!
The climaks come around when he tumbuk the wall of the male toilet behind the Block E..
well, the war was still happening afterward, but thats not the point..
Guess wat? The name of that student is Melvin Phuah..
Same to the name of the younger brother of Michelle Phuah..
tats why i ll seek for the allowance to check his bag.. =.=
So funny to recall bout tis..

Life can always have surprises...
No matter wat happen, i jz want to glorify my Lord..
I apologize for the unhappiness i ever bring to any1 of u,
and i wish to spread the gospel and being a good witness all along my life..

Tats all i wanna share today..
Well, sry ya cz i din connect the phrase in better way..

Praise the Lord

2010-04-25T23:05:00.002+08:00

It has been a period i didn't face with any severe problem of nightmare or weird dream..
Thanks to my Lord for listening to my prayer and helping me..
Thanks Alice Tong~ for suggested me a great way too..
Musictheraphy did helped.. perhaps Christian song have such awesome effect, cz it is song to praise the God..

Thanks for the leading, Lord.
It is not easy for 1 to accept you..

Thanks God..
=)

Human? Who is the intelligent one? Who is the stubborn one?

2010-04-24T21:45:00.002+08:00

Human have no right to judge human,
because we are the creature of same level, stick with sins..
It is a fact,
HOWEVER, it doesn't mean that we can ignore the sins we saw and letting those to happen right?

Sins..
There is always a 1 who forgot the One who create us and give life.
There is always a 1 who do not have a healthy lifestyle.
There is always a 1 who do not treat the person around him/her fairly or kindly.
There is always a 1 who do not know God want us to be perfect in our "kelakuan".

No sins?
Impossible...

ONLY when some1 CAN & WILLING to admit own sins and believe that the
son of God, Jesus willing to forgive us,
can save us from go in the hell due to our sins,
he/she can save from hell, but not sins..
Human=Sin

Well, there are friends around have serious problem in their certain thinking,
i do not know how to help them yet..
i can only pray,
pray to the Mighty 1..

My lord,
could you guide them back to Your arm?
could them understand about Your love and love You?

You told us in the bible,
Knowing and believing in You is the start of the growing of intelligent..
I wish more person can understand this...

Aiyak =.=

2010-04-24T14:05:00.002+08:00

o.0 i was having some kind of impossible dream again..
>.< luckily i was not defeated..
i control my mind to defeat it..
Ush....
I start to accept more about everything around me..
including the past..
myself too...

My God,
you are the 1 i should praise..
you can make "nothing" to "everything"
and yet you want us to know "everything" can be "nothing"
when i have nothing,
i know you are everything...
=)..
i want to experience more with your guidance...

感恩

2010-04-18T16:01:00.002+08:00

有好一段时间没 update 这一个意义非凡的 blog 了.
它是我间接表达的管道，
也是我更了解自己起伏的管道.

一直以来，
我确实让自己陷入了低潮，
不断的自责，
不断的自卑，
不断的停留在过去，
不好受..

很感激，
生命走到现在，
我仍然还能反省自己.

我也感激，
那些曾在我回忆里的人，
那些现在仍在默默支持我的人，
深信我的人，
了解我不足及缺点却仍接受我的人.

不知不觉中，
我不知我怎么走过之前的一段“黑暗的深渊”.

我不能保证我会一直勇敢的走下去，
但是我一直都渴望勇敢，坚强.

不平常的恶梦仍存在着，
和父母亲的隔蔷依然如此，
我的心态，
却有稍微的不一样.

口里说的可以是玩笑，
希望我能作美好的见证！

颠倒的视野

2010-04-11T22:42:00.002+08:00

当别人总在直直地向前看，往着前方迈进，
我却面向在后面的风光，犹豫地踏步前进..

当别人看见前方的窟隆时，都会设法而过，
我却眷恋昨日掉入的网罗，主动地残害自己..

当别人可以一笑而过时，
我却让自己难过..

当我知道人可以浮在海面上时，
我却让海水覆盖我..

一切一切，
为何就不能再简单化？

为何去渴望一把钥匙，那盒子都没上锁，
只是被压在笨重的错误观念下，
稍微移边去，
不就行了吗。。。

Happy birthday, Han Ong..

2010-04-09T22:26:00.002+08:00

Vincent,
Thanks for your invitation to your birthday celebration.
Thanks for being a well witness as a christian all this time too..
Thanks for ever gave me support when i feel like left alone.

I wish to have closer relationship with u lol...

Well, it is a nice gathering...
I hav joy, i believe most of us hav joy...

I felt glad Jacky ll listen to Christianity songs,
Thanks God his sis hav such resource for him as well as being a christian.

I felt grateful once i know i was suggested to hold a pose in VAD group.
Thanks for let me in..
another brand new experience..

I felt safe when i know choon man is aiming to help as much people too,
he can owes put in action to his though easily..
i stil gt a far way to learn..
XD..

I felt like so newbie when talk with those who hav start their pre-U life..
luckily i can accept the gasp between us..

I felt ok when i saw something. Shh...

I felt proud of George!!
bravo!
i m not laughing on u or take u as a joy..
but u did bring joy to us..
thanks...
u have nice courage.. keep it on..

I felt shameful when jiayang is telling me a right way of thinking bout going to church...
ya just bcz i have problems then i should go for God, listen to His words, praise him though in problems..
I wan't to hav a healthy lifestyle..
with the presence of God..

I felt happy i can hav lot of conversation with Chung Ong n Vincent tonight.
We less talk actually..
But i hope i can hav better relationship with them..
vincent, u r a great man actually, just nakal bit lol..

I felt good when asked by Hui Yii them for some gatheing..
Beach, Sunflower Centre..
Nice..
I reli wan to go for it..

I felt safe bout Han Ong,
though not v close or less talk with him..
but he is owes a great n helpful man..

Thanks God for such gift to me..
I m happy tonight..

Precious Corner

2010-04-04T20:48:00.002+08:00

It was an early morning instead of late night..
I come to my bed around 1am++..
i m listening to a song tat time..
repeat n repeat..

"Zui4 Zhen1 Gui4 De4 Jiao3 Luo4"....

I like songs..
I like to understand n immerse in the melody, mv as well as lyric of the song.
this song have let lot of my sweet memories flash back as speed of light.
so amazing!
I am qi dai more on our expenditure in future, though some of us may cant meet or have to separate..

I msg some of those who owes playing important role in my life..
well, thx God i got warm respond from them too..
hehe ah ter kena my msg woke up qu..
lol!!
there is 1 of the msg i sent, i put some special words inside.. >.<
with the tips from the capital letter..
i duno it ll have the day to b discover o not..
but it is ok though the msg may been categorized in deleted msg now.

I m feeling so good today..
cz of wat i did.. lol..
i reli feel good when i cn open my heart to send these..
i duno i can maintain or do better in tml n tml o not..
i just reli happy when i can try to express my true feeling..
but not cheating myself sometime..

It is the easter day..
i absent for church gathering again..
go to cc with brothers pula!! lol...
it is my own fault..
i reli wanna be a helpful counsellor in future..
i reli wanna help the people around me with my counselling skill..
especially with god's help n religion base.
once i leave Him, i m weak..
this is true cz i ever went through it.
and today, thx God for listen my prayers all this while...
though i may not Your good son now..
Hold me tight, Lord...
Hold me tight too, the 1 i care...and the 1 care me..
let me be ur castle for a warm rest..
let God fulfill our daily life...
Amen...

i do make a kind of prayer sometime,
wish tat my wife in future is a christian as well..
hope tat i can make it..
share the gospel to the 1 i love..
though it seem hard now..

My youth, my life

2010-03-29T23:34:00.001+08:00

youth is the time when u shud ve high spirit, n now u lack of spirit till tis level.
u wanna wait till when 2 enjoy da high spirit? when u r using tongkat?
tat time u ll more down than now, cz u ll realize tat u ve WASTED your time over useless things...

u r being controlled so much by ur own feeling..
u do wad ur feeling asks u 2 do.

is time 2 wake up lo jai..

Argh..........

Love

2010-03-29T00:25:00.002+08:00

Love is easy but never easy.
Love is simple but never simple.
I am awake but duno wat i am expressing..

I found lots of love in Ch concert 2010..
I found mine too..

Past? Currently? Future?
????

Congratulation

2010-03-29T00:11:00.002+08:00

Congratulate to all students, teachers as well as senior involved in CH school concert 2010!
Bravo! Well Done! Adorable! Big claps for you all!

Sorry for ever looking down on come of you as well as this year concert.
Thanks for proving out the standard of you all as well as the effort.

CH concert 2010 didn't disappoint me!
I saw the improvement, mayb not much, but is encouraging..
Proud..

I really love CH concert.
Too much memories in my past are related to CH concert..
Sweet, Sad, Pain, Sour, Tears, Too much.......

however, i should learn to put down..
For lot of things, including CH concert.

Ch concert 2010...
see you..
i duno i still can see you on the next year or not,
i duno who am i the next year i see you,
i duno who ll be my side the next year..

But i know, i have to learn to live in silent too..

Thanks God for helping me go through all these while when i m down.
It past oled..
The tough moment have gone..
=')

Argh!!

2010-03-26T08:27:00.002+08:00

I have dream of something i should forget since last year.
It keep influence me recently..
Haiz, i don't want to see you anymore.. T_T
See too much, think too much, dream too much, disappointed too much..

How could i dare to put any hope in this again?
How could i really put down this?
I am doing stupid act again.
I should not spend too much time on this.
The feeling isn't good.
Do i only can smile in forced when meet with this kind of thing?

I want to overcome it, all the time!
but i choose to run away for it most of the time,
i am very afraid to recall back the past again like today.

However, jia you oh jai..
you can be happy too de,
maybe that thing u wan't doesn't suit you?
Zzz maybe...
But no point to hurt myself anymore after others right?
=)
A Smile with hidden feeling....

God! please help me! PLZ!

2010-03-24T23:27:00.003+08:00

I am having nightmares up to 15 times in March..
I am v scare of nightmare.
The nightmares of mine were too real and make me exhausted.
I dreamed to be chased, murdered, betrayed, cheated...
I have facing this problem after i come to secondary school.
But things come worse n worse in this month..
I nt dare to sleep early every night.
I am scare to having anymore nightmare.
I am a coward, with loneliness and stress..

Plz help me, God

A Short Burst of Depressant

2010-03-24T22:13:00.002+08:00

i went to concert rehearsal today.
I felt super stress, imbalance, and depress in my heart.

I ask myself,
who can come in my heart and comfort my soul..
I can answer the name of no one, except God..
i pray for times.
I am hungry for His guidance.

I remember it is around 5 pm.
I cried.
I listened to the speech given by Mr Chen Qi.
He mention about the bonding among each other like a family.
I was alone in a secret base that time.
I cant last anymore longer when i have some conservation with Moses.
Thanks Moses..
I can't release my feeling for times..
Thanks God i manage to release SOME..

I am really suffering.
Really.

Things keep challenging me as well as my feeling.
I experience lots of tough war in my heart..
Who know..
Who care..
Who can help me..

My soul was burst in FLAME when worked with Logistic heroes afterward.
I would like to call them as heroes, as i know how hard n suffering they may face.
I walk through it.
I manage to enjoy the cooperation and feeling of gaining victory 1 by 1..
They manage to solve lots of problem at last.

Who can work with me?
Who is willing to walk through his or her life with me?
Who can let me feel safe to hand over my sincerity and true heart.

My heart ever been broke in by some people.
But at last, most of them act nothing but a robber.
Sorry for such description.
My heart, have lost its important element.
Its structure, can hardly to recover.
Now, still the same..

God, thanks God i still can call for Your name when i am really alone, helpless..
Please bless me as well as those involve in ch school concert..
May them have a nice experience..

Depressant

2010-03-23T08:19:00.002+08:00

I went to school yesterday for stuff of transferring as well as observe the preparation of concert.
Well, the info i had gathered about the school concert doesn't seem encouraging,
i am feeling bad.
The matter of further study was quite troublesome to me,
thanks God it didn't pull me down.

However, i am really disappoint and yet angry.
I am very disappoint with the ATTITUDE of juniors,
i felt sad for some of them too, especially those who are the main committee.
I am having headache,
i can't sleep for 2 hours on the bed last night,
my brain almost getting burst.

I don't feel good.
Especially when the experienced adviser don't recognize me as a adviser to help too.
I am feeling helpless,
i am wondering the rich limit of mine in the concert.

I was thinking of the ways to improve the quality of school concert last night.
It gonna make me mad..
Thanks God i manage to fall asleep last night.
I didn't expect it.

God, plz take over my depressant,
give me the concentration on You..
=(

Books!

2010-03-20T22:39:00.002+08:00

I had finish reading the 2 books i borrowed.
I feel great.
1 of the book is english learning.
Another is to understand more about own.

I just more clear about myself now.
I am the one who have unhealthy self image.
Ya i admit it.
May God lead me walk through my growing stage.

Thanks Xiao Hong for borrow me a english story book.
Never know that such story book can be so fantastic.
hehe i like to read it.

20.03.2010

2010-03-20T22:17:00.002+08:00

It is the day of war.
It is the day of believe.
It is the day of spreading the love.
It is the melody.

It is not rare to find a touching melody.
But is rare to find a living melody.

I prayed before the gospel ceremony start.
I would like to call it like that instead of a concert.
I prayed for His strength,
So that He can fulfill our life,
use our voice for gospel spreading.

I don't know how is the respond at last.
I don't know about the Will of Him too.
But i am more sure,
this event have become 1 of the witness in my life.
The witnesses of life in praising.

My voice is lying in ICU currently.
May God bless me,
Thanks for this gift as a reminder.
Remind me of everything i learn in the camp,
no matter in the way of music of gospel.
Thanks God.

May Praising Non-stop, Amen..

How could i understand your prints?

2010-03-19T23:29:00.002+08:00

My Lord,
i feel good when i can praise you sincerely,
i feel good when i can experience your love,
through guidance, brothers and sisters in church.

I am exhausting throughout the 3rd Eastern Malaysia Church's Choir Practice,
but i am full,
but i am positive,
now.

"Happiness is a choice, not a chance. You decided on it, need not wait for it to happen by chance."

I saw the phrase above from my kor- Henry's personal message in msn.

I may cant fully agree with it,
cause i cant make it out for now.

However, i believe the faith and morale of ones can influence his happiness.
Happiness only seem far away when he has misunderstand or mistaken in these.

But, i would more prefer to pleasure in life if compare to happiness.
I would like to concern more about the pleasure in life through the love.
Jesus is the love,
One can be enriching when his soul is equip with love.

Happiness do not last long,
is not fully beneficial,
sometime.
Playing game bring happiness too, but it is not v pleasant in love.

Lastly,
I choose to let myself to be happy,
surely the pleasure of life too.

But, i am the one who like to zhuan1 niu2 jiao3 jian1.
I didn't noticed about it most of the time too.
I don't even can come out from the cage by myself.

Maybe,
it is the pros of lacking of healthy self image.

Lost

2010-03-18T00:02:00.003+08:00

I am getting lost while writing this post.
I just wish to pass a message to myself,
"I am lost!"

It is even miserable since i can hardly notice it.

My lord,
plz guide me still,
I'm getting lost from your path,
You know me the most,
You know me better than i'm,
You are the knowledge.

My lord,
i need you,
i am afraid actually,
i guess i haven't prepare for something,
seem like i am running away from certain devotion or responsibility.

My lord,
how could i hide from you?
You are everywhere,
plz
plz
plz help me...

14/03/2010

2010-03-15T00:48:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday, Kwong Xing..
Thanks God i can meet you up in your birthday celebration.
We were losing contact of each other.
It have been a long period after SPM.
But i feel appreciate that we still can have chance for a date.

Thanks God that i can celebrate your birthday with you.
Thanks God that you are a christian.
I just knew it.
Thanks, i ll pray for your growth in your soul as well as life.
Feel free to find me for anything ya.
=)

Cry, instead of acting calm

2010-03-12T22:45:00.002+08:00

I am not a tough guy,
but i don't wanna to be a loser too.
We are all learning in the different phase of life.
I am always wanna be stronger,
i believe some of you do too.

I am learning to listen.
Thanks God i am able to listen with concentration at certain time,
i listened to few voices,
i listened to my voices as well,
But, i can't listen to those tears in heart, mine as well.
Sometime, cry is necessary.
Sometime, we just can't cry out our feeling.
Sometime, our body are away from our soul.

The world we are staying now are too fake.
we might being fake at anytime.
Things turn worse when you being fake to your heart.

Listen,
Listen to the right voice.
Is the voice live in your heart?
Or have you been away from your heart by entertainment or "pride" in this world?

We are feeling good after express our love to each other,
We are feeling depress when we don't know how to express our love as well as let others understand..
It is the same too when we cry and we don't..

Be grateful when there is friend who concern on your soul all along your life,
Be thankful when there is friend who concern on your benefit all along your life,
Be careful if there is only entertainment in your friendship.

Pray,
Pray for the strength from God,
Without thy, without me..

Thanks God!!

2010-03-10T22:27:00.002+08:00

I am so grateful today for the guidance from god!
Thanks to Mr Lucas for dated me too.
Thanks again for the reassure.
Well, it is another process in my life,
i have walked through some little parts,
congratulates to u, jai..
keep it up!

My mum is having sourness n pain in arm today,
i felt bit sad,
i manage to 'urut' for her,
glad tat it help a bit.
=)

Ling Jai Seng,
is now on his journey,
to figure out himself again,
God, is the most important role for him..

=(

2010-03-10T14:20:00.002+08:00

Something,
eating my heart up...

No1 can figure out what it is,
God, save me...

First warning!

2010-03-09T07:01:00.001+08:00

You have been fail in your plan..
Wake up and make difference man!

Dont let difference beat you up!!
God,
i m, sorry...
please help me..
refresh my soul..

What have you done in the holiday?

2010-03-06T23:25:00.010+08:00

Well, i overuse my body,
i didn't take care of myself,
i didn't really have my responsibility in actions too..
I am wasting the time..
Well, it is no point to blame myself only all these time..
I'll have try to make out some improvement.

1st task- I want to have my passion in spreading gospel back once again!In order to make it out, i hava to enclose my relationship with God as well as understanding in bible.

2nd task - I wish to improve my love. Giving can always be unlimited but we should always satisfy with receiving. Be grateful and positive thinking can help me to love people in better way.
I need to pray to God for love from Him, in order to love others.

3rd task - I wish to manage my time properly as well as live a healthy life. I just have to live out a life which is favorite to God. It may takes my whole long life to witness for this.

4th task - I want to have a habit of reading.
A person who like to reads and know which book to read are man who is intelligent usually
XD.. i have no offence, im just encouraging reading.
I know reading is good, so i have to put in action.

PLEASE guide me and follow up with me from time to time to help me.
Thanks and grateful for the concern from you.. =)

Feeling uncomfortable

2010-03-05T21:20:00.003+08:00

I m having unknown stress recently,
i am not sure what is it about!
Im feeling bad.
However, i would admit that this process in necessary in my life,
i can bring in these experiences to another case of others and help them..
It is good.
I just stressed out.
jia you!

Misty and Dusty

2010-03-04T08:43:00.002+08:00

My nose is feeling not well after i have my short time of exercise at outdoor.
I don't want to gasp for such air if i have other choice.

this is the ONLY air we have,
please cherish and protect it from being polluted!
Thanks

03.03.2010

2010-03-04T07:53:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday to Whye Tchien,
a buddy who accompany me to have my life in secondary school,
though short but is meaningful.

Happy birthday to my elder brother too,
the closest family member to me,
though not v close but is the better one.

I am wearing panda's glasses while typing this post now.
I went to whye tchien's house last night to attend his birthday party around 10pm.
I have a great gathering with my buddies!
I am feeling good and natural with you all although i have been lost contact with some of you..
Thanks God we still can interact well..
Thanks God some of you still welcome me as your fren though we owes have different opinion and view.. HEHE, i ll be there for you too when i m available!

It was 1 am when i back to my home..
I was tiring.
Things come worse because i m lack of a proper sleep these few days!
I was having 2 terrible nightmare ytd,
1 in morning 1 in afternoon.
I "impressed" myself so much lol!
I have been haunted and disturbed by nightmare all these time,
Thoso scenes were too real for me.
I am getting exhausted and non-energetic after these.
I may having stresses in my heart.
I should express them out of my heart in better way.
May God help me in these!
I may lost and i may get down,
I need Your guidance all in my life,
My God, please nourish my soul..
Something must be parasite in my heart again..
It is not good for health..
>.<..
I need a healthy mind and body to serve you, My lord...

Human's nature

2010-03-02T18:32:00.004+08:00

What is one thing that Jai Seng is a natural at?

praying? lol

I copied the question above from my fb account.
Well i am. I am natural at praying.
Thanks to that friend, Rc to give me a chance to think about a simple philosophy.

So, here is my question.
Is human natural at praying?

I believe we are!

Making wish is a part of praying too.
Therefore, we shall conclude that making a birthday wish is a part of praying too!

Nevertheless,
Wishing the other people also a part o praying.
So, we shall conclude " I wish you all the best!" is a part of praying too!

The difference between wishing and praying is..
The presence of the One who listened and have the ability to make ACCEPTABLE WISHES go true.

So, which do u think is more powerful?
Wishing or Praying?

If your answer is wishing,
then who is the one do you have faith to help you out?

If your answer is praying,
then are you sure you are praying to the right One?

There are little comments from me,
As a human, i have more confidence in praying when i know who am i asking for help, but not air!
Furthermore, I have much more confidence in my praying when i know the One i asking for help is the RIGHT ONE !

Lastly, figure out the One who should we target in praying is very important..

Thanks for telling me, though i am disagree with you!

2010-03-01T19:02:00.003+08:00

I just knew that i consider as go out for too much of time in my parent's eyes.
Friends' gathering and church activities seem unreachable for me.
I don't like this kind of unacceptable education!
I don't want to face with computer, tv and sleep all the time at home!
I want to do something else..
I want to go through more stuff and interaction.

I can't make it out at home..
I wish i can make it, but i don't think now is the time..
I am too lazy at home, i don't like it actually.

Haiz, just heard the discussion among my elder brother with mum,
My bro had did so well,
he still can continue his discussion in patient and polite though mum was not using a better tone in the process.. She even misunderstand what he was trying to say!
Well, my brother ever told me before that he wish he can be patient to talk with mum with God's help.
I saw it!
thanks God
hehe i don't have that confidence i can be such polite in that situation also.

Well, i am outgoing though i am shy and prefer to stay alone in certain time,
i really don't feel good when my freedom is limited and locked,
i just wish to train myself through the situation i may face outside the home..
But i won't get mad, just quite disappoint.
I will take this incident as a thing to learn too..
I have to be more patient and learn to forgive..
May God lead me,
so i really can live out my religion..

The motivation from God

2010-02-28T01:21:00.002+08:00

In order to expose myself to others,
i reopen this blog.

I wish to learn to manage my relationship..

I wish to spread the love and help others through this starting point too!

I want to be a counsellor in future,
and now, i m walking on the road God have shown to me..

Love is important,
I m trying to discovering more bout love..

Love is the gift from God,
we have no need to be selfish to give..

Lesson learn on 青团 27.02.10

2010-02-28T00:44:00.007+08:00

“事奉人生” 是教会今年的主题，
今天的青团聚会就是针对这给于专题。

God is the Boss，
this is the lesson i learned!

I have clear of the cause of the problem i m facing all this time..
i was desperate since i duno why i have different attitude in different situation
i was desperate too since i duno how to put my love in action
but thanks God i know what to do now..

It is just bcz of a question,
Who is your boss?
who is your boss?

Thanks God..
you are my boss, you are my lord..
i should serve you all my life..

Because of you,
i understand what is love,
You are the love.

I should admit You as my only Lord and Boss..
My Lord,
no matter where i am,
no matter what situation i m having of,
no matter wat am i doing,
You know all of it..

I have been "blindfold" before this,
so i have so many different attitude,
i was acting differently to different "Boss" before..

But,
i should bear in mind tat,
you are the lord i m serving,
i do no need to lap Your shoe,
You do know all bout me.

i just have You as my Lord in my life,
i love You,
so i want to spread Your love toward me to others too..
I'll learn to think of you and love others at anytime..
You are my Lord,
i have to love others and i wan to love others too,
You are my boss,
How can i betray you?
=)
My Lord, give me the strength and intelligent to overcome these..
Amen

P/S: PLZ forgive me if can't understand of what i wrote, my standard of English is low, but i am sincere.

Are you following the trend or holding tight the righteous?

2010-02-26T21:21:00.004+08:00

Oh my heart,
i have read an articles at pujut church' notice board this morning,
it is bout the "MEETING AND PLANNING OF SATAN & DEVILS"
it is a factual articles, but i dun think every1 can understand the true meaning of the article,
same as the meaning of gospel and who is the God as well as where we come!

My heart, i thanks to the God to let me have some discussion with you..
My heart, i thanks to the God to let me understand of i have to clear my mind once again to hold back the righteous..

OH my lovely human beings,
Devils are evil,
they are aiming for the failure of human..
What kind of failure is that?
The failure of having a closer relationship with God..

The failure of having a closer relationship with God

OH my lovely human beings,
High-tech stuffs haven't been invented since 50 years ago,
there are no such things like computer, PSP, Plasma TV or even Internet.
BUT NOW, look around you plz!
look carefully!
use your heart to think, nt brain..
What have we loss if compare to the old age?
IGNORE those adv. knowledge bout these "high-tech" stuff we called tat they are lacking of,
We are the loser in fact..
I m not good in collecting facts or arguing as well as dabate..
thanks God for it!
i manage to use heart to think!

Oh my lovely human beings,
Those 70 s, 80 s people are so lucky..
haiz..

They have no entertainment at their zaman..
They are so lucky for it..
they can concentrate on study,
exploring bout philosophy,
the meaning of life... * not the meaning we tot is v meaningful, but the righteous*
so nice...
There are so much distraction now..
Sales, games, money, business, work, fun, parties...
Speechless...

Oh my God,
give me the strength plz..
so tat i can hold tight Your rightous..
Amen..

I like choir!

2010-02-26T21:13:00.002+08:00

Wow, the choir practice today make me feel good...
i manage to catch up more on notes as well as more familiar to the keys hehe...
Thanks God n those frens who helping me all the time..
Xiao Hong, Moses, Jeremy, Curtis, Ah lik,Pei Yi hehe...
but i scare i ll miss up the choir practice on every fri or even tuan qi on every sat if i start to work as part time worker..
hope God can lead me as well as give me a harsh situation tat i m manage to go through..
I should hungry for the growth of my soul..
hmm...
anyway.. frens, plz remind me n give me support to hungry for church activities all the time..
thanks =)
the life in church is so meaningful.

A challenging task

2010-02-25T21:43:00.002+08:00

Well, i have went to Parkson to search n apply for part time vacancies this afternoon..
It was my first time to have such war..
well i reli expose to a little little bit more to the society..
T.T... it is not easy for me to put down my pride...
i m quite a hypocrite.. sigh..
but thanks God i have such chance n courage to make it out..
At least i m discovering more bout myself through this chance...
i reli duno i m a polite man or wat lol..
or i m just pretend to be polite in front those future employers?
duno.. at least it was a good try..
Arrr... these thing are not easy for me eh..
actually, i m just a nonsense in this world..
i dun have much knowledge or any adorable background...
i just hope i can have a heart tat God ll like to do until the limit God have given to me..
but i owes limit myself 1st before tat..
Hmm, i reli dn have much confidence...
May God lead me this nonsense all the time..
i m having a messy life with sins...
if i m employed, i hope i stil can have te passion to folllow the God...
Amen